I take a long swallow and finish the wine in my glass. I hold it out, and Enzo pours more into my glass.
“You should come with me,” he says suddenly.
“Go with you?”
“To Surrender. It would be good for you. It would help you heal faster.”
“How would watching naked women dance on the most disgusting vile men help me?”
“Because you need to face your fears to heal.”
“I’m not afraid of Surrender.”
“No, you’re not. But you are afraid of clothes and light and going outside. I’m sure being around strange men isn’t exactly your idea of a great day either. You need to push yourself to heal.”
“You trust me enough to go and not run away?”
“No, I don’t trust you. Try running and see what happens.”
“That sounds like a threat you will never follow through on.”
He smirks. “Maybe I won’t, but Langston will.”
“Fine. As long as I don’t have to strip, I’ll come with you.”
He laughs. “You walk around naked all the time in front of me and anyone else who enters my house. Why would stripping be so bad?”
I laugh. “I guess it wouldn’t. My strip show would end quickly though since I’m already naked.”
We both laugh at the ridiculousness. And then Enzo’s gaze turns serious.
“Stop looking at me like that,” he says.
“Like what?”
“Like you want me to take you to bed and pound you until you come screaming.”
“I’m not looking at you like that.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not.”
He sighs. “I will never fuck you, Kai. I will do my best to never touch you. I can’t have you, Kai. I will ruin you.”
“I’m already ruined.”
He reaches his hand out.
I freeze.
He stops short of stroking my black hair like I want.
“No, you’re not ruined. You’re just hurt. You’re just in pain. Someday soon you will break free of the walls you put up to protect yourself. And when you do, you’ll realize just how amazing you are.”
I try to cling to his words, but I can’t. My eyes are growing heavy. I just slept almost eight hours. I shouldn’t be so tired, but I am. So, so tired. My body starts loosening like jello, and I fall into a heavy pile on the couch.
24