“I have a question for you,” I say.
“Same. You go first.” Langston strokes my hair as I lean my head on his shoulder.
“Why did you want to kill me?”
He stiffens. “Atlas was really sick.”
“What?” I interrupt him.
He frowns as his thumb strokes my face. “He was sick. He isn’t anymore.”
I exhale.
“His adoptive parents at the time contacted you for help. They didn’t have the money or resources to get him help. And if he was going to die, they thought you might want to say goodbye.”
I scrunch my nose, completely confused by why he would want to kill me. But I’m also heartbroken that Atlas was so ill.
“They said you refused them. You refused them money. You refused to help with treatment. You refused to see him.”
I swallow the pain.
“I hated you for it, hated you for leaving your son to die.” He pauses. “But looking at you now, I’m not sure how much I know is true.”
I blink back tears. He hated me because he thought I would just let my son die. I regret asking my question now, but I need to know what his question is.
“What was your question?”
His thumb traces the outline of my collarbone. “Well, now, I have two. One is, did you know that Atlas was sick? And two…” I can hear the pain and frustration in his voice. “Are you pregnant now?”
I can understand why he’s conflicted if he thinks I would abandon my son; he’s not sure he wants me to be pregnant now. And yet, he’s not sure any of it is true. If it’s not true, he’s hated me and wanted me dead this long all for nothing.
I don’t need a test to tell me if I’m pregnant or not.
I know how I should answer about whether or not I knew Atlas was sick and in trouble.
One will be the truth. The other will be a lie. Both will hurt him.
28
Langston
Waiting for her to answers seems like a millennium.
I suspect she might be pregnant, although, I don’t know when she would have had time to take a pregnancy test, so it’s really not a fair question. But she’s been throwing up, and I’ve fucked her numerous times now without a condom or any other form of protection. It’s a real possibility.
It’s also a possibility that she just has food poisoning or hasn’t eaten in a while and got motion sickness.
Still, she’s constantly hiding things from me, and I want to know if I’m about to become a father again.
Liesel looks stunned sitting in my lap, like I just spilled a world of secrets onto her lap. That’s why I’m not worried about hating her anymore. I will never hate her again. She didn’t know about Atlas—that much I’m certain about.
“If you need me to take you to a pharmacy to get a pregnancy test, I can,” I offer.
She shakes her head. “No, I already know.”
My heart stops.
I love kids. This is the moment I become a father, again. And this time, I’ll get to be there every step of the way.