I cast my eyes down, keeping the darkness in my gaze away from her.
She stops, and somehow she knows. Her voice grows soft, “What happened?”
My eyes flitter and meet her concerned ones. “Nothing, it was just a dream.”
She sucks on her bottom lip, obviously concerned but doesn’t ask me any other questions.
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath, and trying to drive my demons out. Her arms slip around me, and instantly, I feel calmer. I know it doesn’t hurt her to touch me anymore. It’s not a sacrifice. But it still feels that way. No one has ever hugged me in order to comfort me. Not since my mother when I was a young kid.
“Thank you,” I breathe out.
“I was trying to bring you breakfast in bed.”
“I couldn’t stay in bed, not without you. From now on, wake me up first.”
She nods against my chest.
“Come on, let me give you the tour I never gave you last night. I know Westcott wants to make breakfast for everyone, and he will be up here soon to make it.”
“Okay.”
I take her hand again, our fingers intertwining far too naturally. Like a real couple. We are anything but a real couple, I remind myself.
I walk her out of the kitchen and onto the main deck. There are several seating areas, strings of lights, and tropical plants that decorate this area. But there is also the looming sea all around us. No walls to hide us from the ocean. There is nowhere for her to pretend we aren’t on the ocean. She has to face the water and her own demons.
I suck in a breath waiting for her to shut down or panic because she won’t let herself hide away anymore. She doesn’t. She slowly walks away from me, trying to drop my hand. At first, I hold her tighter, but I know she needs this. She needs to know she can face it on her own. Especially, if she’s going to survive.
So I let go.
Even though it kills me.
Kai takes her time walking to the railing. I keep my feet planted firmly on the ground. I put my hands in my jeans pockets. Let her have this moment alone.
She walks right up to the sea and places her hands on the railing. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath of the salty air I love and she hates. Her hair blows crazily in the wind, and my shirt rides up her body until I can see her perky ass.
I should make her change, but after seeing her like this, I want her to wear only my shirt the entire trip. I’ll just force everyone else to stay in their rooms. She’s fucking breathtaking.
I give her a few minutes alone, and then I walk up behind her and take her in my arms.
“You are so strong—so much stronger than me. Sometimes I think you would make the better Black,” I say.
She leans back into my chest. “You’re stronger than you realize.”
“Only because of you.” I kiss her cheek. “Come on, I have more to show you.”
I show her the main deck, the captain’s room, and where most of the crew is staying below. I give her the password to my rooms and ensure she knows how to get in. And then I show her the one place I know she will love. The place I know will be a step toward freedom for her. And it terrifies me.
Because I like control. I like that I can make her mine and not worry if she is safe. But I know someday, I have to let her go. I’ll probably make Zeke or Langston go with her to protect her. Probably Zeke, she seems to have taken a liking toward him the most.
I take her through my rooms to another door with a similar passcode and eye scan.
“What’s this?” she asks. “Another secret room?” her eyes go wide.
“Something like that.”
I enter the initial passcode, and then I turn around. “You need to enter a new passcode, one only you know.”
“Why?” her voice is so soft as the single syllable leaves her lips.