“No, I’m pissed I thought I grew up with a father mourning the loss of my mother, doing everything he could to survive, and instead, I was raised by an evil sack of shit who didn’t prepare me for my own future.”
“Ask your fucking questions, I have work I need to get back to.”
I lean forward, putting all my anger into my stare. I consider sitting in silence so I can piss him off further, but I can’t stand to be in this room with him any longer than I have to.
“My mother’s hospital bills, are you really in such debt that you can’t afford a house bigger than that trailer?”
“No.”
Fuck, this is going to gut me.
“Then, why did we live in a trailer?”
“Because I wanted to toughen you up. I didn’t want you to become a princess like how Enzo was raised. You learned how to handle yourself in that trailer.”
I close my eyes, willing myself to ask the next question.
“Did mom really die from cancer?”
“No, your mother was an alcoholic. She drank too much and killed herself.”
My mouth falls open as my heart breaks. I don’t remember my mother. All I know is the story. She fought so hard to stay alive for me that we incurred an incredible debt we could never repay. It was a lie. All of it. A fucking lie!
But then every word out of my father’s mouth is a lie.
And it doesn’t shock me that my mother didn’t care about living for me either.
I want to get out of here. I want to get back to the Savage with Enzo and pretend I’m an orphan, that my father died along with my mother back then. But I have one more question I need to ask. A question I already know the answer to, but I have to ask it. I need to hear it from his lips.
“Why did you sell me?”
His eyes look into my soul, and I know it’s not out of love or compassion or sorrow for what he did to me. He doesn’t tear up thinking about it. He doesn’t regret putting me through the pain.
He hurt me because he wanted me to be stronger. He hurt me because he thought I was too weak to win without experiencing pain.
“I sold you so you would have a chance to win. I did it for you.”
“No!”
My single word vibrates through the room until it consumes both of us.
“No, you didn’t sell me so I had a chance to win. You sold me because you are evil and cruel. You sold me so if I were to win, I could give you a better life. Promote you in the ranks, and the Miller line would continue on ruling for another generation. You didn’t do this for me. You did this to me. You hurt me. Broke me. Caused me more pain than my body could physically handle, until I learned to shut it out.”
I think back to Enzo’s father. I don’t know what he did to prepare Enzo to become Black, but I know it wasn’t kind. It was personal and dark and cruel. But at least he was a father. At least he didn’t pretend to be something he wasn’t and hide behind a lie. He spoke the truth to his son and showed him his darkest side, while my father pretended all this time.
“You are nothing but a coward. There were other ways to prepare me that didn’t involve selling me. Teaching me how to wield a gun and weapons. Teaching me how to fight. Educating me on how this business runs. Preparing me for every scenario. You didn’t have to sell me!”
A sob escapes my throat, and I curse myself for showing weakness to this man.
“Are you finished?” he asks.
I grit my teeth together to keep from launching myself at him. “No. You haven’t even apologized for what you did.”
“And I’m not going to. You had to be sold.”
“Why? Why was that the only way your twisted little brain could think to prepare me?”
He leans forward, glaring right back at me. His nostrils flare, and his anger spreads from his face to his bones.