He’s happy, overjoyed even.
I smile back at him, letting myself glow for the first time since I found out I was pregnant.
Enzo takes my hand, and I let him.
In this moment, we are happy, expecting parents sharing a secret only the two of us know. It doesn’t matter that in reality, Langston and Liesel know. Or that Felix knows. All that matters is our little secret happiness.
I love you, he mouths.
I love you too, I mouth back.
I feel the wind blowing in my face again as Langston starts driving the boat again. But it doesn’t shake our little moment. This single moment is the happiest I’ve ever been. And it appears Enzo feels the same.
This is happiness.
This is love.
He doesn’t ask me any questions.
Not if it’s his or Milo’s.
Not how far along I am.
Not if I know if it’s a boy or girl.
Not what are we going to do.
The questions don’t matter. What matters is that no matter the answers, we are both desperately in love with this child.
We ride in silence holding each other’s hands and gazing into each other’s eyes until we reach Enzo’s house.
Langston goes in first, wanting a moment to secure the property before the rest of us enter.
When he gives us the all-clear, we enter. Langston and Liesel retreat to separate guest bedrooms, and Enzo carries me up the stairs to the bedroom we’ve shared so many memories together in.
“Enzo, we need to talk,” I say.
“No, I don’t want to talk about this until we can only speak happy, excited words. I won’t tarnish something so happy with fear and anxiety. We don’t need to speak—not today. And we don’t need to worry about what this means or what tomorrow holds. Just be with me tonight, Kai. Love me. Remind me of how incredible we are together. And how nothing can stop us as long as we love each other. That’s all I want.”
“Okay,” I whisper, because I can barely breathe.
And that is the last word I will speak tonight. Because if either of us starts talking, we won’t be able to focus on just loving each other. The topic will change to
worry and how to protect this child. And tonight, we both just need each other.
I grab the hem of my shirt and pull it over my head, letting my body be on full display for him.
His eyes grow at the sight. I can tell he’s a little frustrated with himself for not realizing sooner.
He lifts his own shirt, and I ogle his firm body that has saved me more times than he realizes.
My hand goes to my hair, and I pull my scrunchie out and put it on my wrist, my hair falling down in waves.
Enzo’s eyes deepen at the sight.
Simultaneously, we remove our pants, naked in front of each other.
Vulnerable, scared, and happy.