Dirty Beginning (Dirty 0.50)

1

Nina

I can’t go after him .

Not because I’m in Italy for only one month, so there is no way anything but a fling could happen between us .

I can’t kiss him .

Not because his lips aren’t kissable. I writhe and ache, imagining what his lips would feel like pressed up against my lips as our tongues tangled together in a passionate kiss .

I can’t think about him .

Not because I should be studying for my exams. I could pass those whether or not I was thinking about ripping his shirt off and running my fingers across every hard inch of him .

I sure as hell can’t sleep with him .

Not because I don’t want to .

Not because he wouldn’t be the most life-altering sex I’d ever had .

Not because he’s out of my league .

Not because he doesn’t want me .

I can’t have Arlo Carini because he’s dangerous . And I’m obsessed .

I can’t keep my eyes off him as Arlo gives me and thirty other grad students a tour of his historic mansion. I can’t keep my heart from racing. Or my mind from thinking dirty thoughts of all the ways and places we could have sex in this mansion .

On the couch in the sitting room, on the grand staircase, against the stone wall in the foyer .

I can’t stop the obsession once it starts. And, right now, I’m full-on obsessed as he guides us through more and more rooms, the whole time ignoring everyone else and staring directly at me. It’s clear that he might be a little obsessed or at least curious about me, which only makes me crazier .

I can’t do this. I’m not really obsessed. Just infatuated. He’s just a hot guy that I want to fuck. The same thought that every other woman here is thinking .

Arlo leads us outside and I try to do my best to focus on other things. That’s what my years of therapy has taught me; distraction is key. I focus on the blooming flowers that are so large that they would hold my interest if this were any other time. Just not when there is one of the hottest warm-blooded males I’ve ever seen standing only a few feet away from me .

I try listening to the birds. I try focusing on the beautiful statues and fountains. I try ogling the men in my class but they all look like boys compared to Arlo .

Nothing works .

I just have to get through this and then I’ll find a nice Italian man to distract me tonight. I just haven’t had sex in a while. That’s it .

The class starts walking again. So I do too. But when I take a step I feel nothing beneath my foot .

Shit.

I don’t have time to react. I feel my body falling and then I feel the water soaking me as I fall into the pool. I let my body sink to the bottom because drowning sounds better than reappearing on the surface and facing my embarrassment .

I open my eyes under the water as a body jumps into the pool. My eyes widen and my heart sinks as Arlo swims toward me. He grabs hold of my waist and pushes me toward the surface .

We both break through the surface sucking in air like we’d been underwater for minutes instead of just seconds. He jumped in to save me. He thought I was drowning, not just dying from embarrassment. And he saved me .

I begin to swim toward the stairs, but Arlo doesn’t let me go. He scoops me into his arms, as he swims, and then carries me out of the pool .

The class applauds instead of laughing, like Arlo is a hero or something .

He ignores them and carries me as he walks into what looks like a pool house a few yards away from where the class is gathered .

He sits me down gently in a chair and grabs a towel, draping it over my shoulders .

“You okay?” he asks. His voice is sweet and caring, such a stark difference from the hard and cold exterior he has been all afternoon .

“You saved me .”

He smiles for the first time today. “I wouldn’t say that. Just saved you from embarrassment .”

I shake my head. “No, you saved me. I’m forever in your debt. How can I repay you ?”

With a date, please .

His hard expression returns. He removes his gray jacket, tie, vest, and shirt leaving it on the floor while I ogle every hard muscle on his body. He realizes his mistake and takes a towel from the rack. He begins drying his hair as he walks back out without a word .

I close my eyes as I sit alone in the pool house, trying to push the familiar feelings down. I was strong enough before to resist. Before he was just a hot stranger, that with enough distraction, I could have left alone. Now he’s the sexy stranger that saved my life. That’s too much temptation for me to resist .

/> I can’t obsess about him though. The last time I was obsessed with a guy, I ended up with months of therapy and a restraining order. I got more therapy after I chased and almost ran a guy off the road. I self-medicated with alcohol after I flunked a semester while dating another guy. I started doing drugs after I ruined a married man’s life .

I know what men do to me. They make me obsessed. They make me insane. Addicted. I don’t have a life when I’m with a man .

I’ve been through it time and time again. More than a dozen times with a dozen different men. I know the only cure is to stay away from men. I’m like an alcoholic who can’t go into a bar. I can’t go anywhere near hot, attractive, powerful men .

But Arlo Carini is different. He’s hot, sure. He’s tall with unruly, dark hair and muscles that I can’t wait to have on top of me, overpowering me and controlling me. I didn’t have to wait for him to undress to see his muscles. I can see every single one. The gray three-piece suit did nothing to contain them .

He’s sexy as hell. But I’ve gone after sexy men before .

And there is more to him than a hot body .

He’s powerful. I know from the way he’s demanded everyone’s attention from the second we entered the mansion. But so do hundreds of other men who run companies, and I’ve vied for their attention, too .

He’s filthy rich. I know that from the enormous mansion I’m currently standing in, which is owned by the Carini family. But I have plenty of money myself, and I’ve gone after men with money before .

What makes me want Arlo more than any man I’ve wanted in the last three months of sobriety is the intensity with which he stares at me and no one else in the room, both before and after he saved me. It’s the way he never grins or lets any emotion through. It’s the mystery that surrounds him and the whole Carini family. The town hasn’t stopped talking about his family since I arrived .

I want to know everything about him .