Dirty Beginning (Dirty 0.50)

“I’m sorry, sir. We are all out of that wine. Can I recommend another one ?”

“No, thank you, Clarissa .”

My eyes grow wide at the mention of the bartender’s name. Her name tag sits across the left side of her blouse just above her cleavage. So, he did check out her boobs .

“Come split a bottle of wine with me .”

“Maybe,” I say. I can’t help but smile. I need this. I need to have one night to sleep with whomever I want before I never get to choose again. I need to finish what I never got that night .

“I’ll take that as a yes .”

K illian’s hotel room is impressive. It’s one of the most impressive hotel rooms I’ve been in, and I’ve been in a lot. It’s large and spacious, and it has more rooms than any hotel room should. It’s also in the Felton Grand, one of my family’s hotels. I didn’t want to come here yet. Not so soon after my father passed away. Not when this is the place that I would miss him the most. But I didn’t want to tell Killian the truth when he brought me to this hotel, so I came .

I shake nervously as I watch him pour two glasses of wine. The nerves at least keep me from thinking about my father. He hands me my glass of wine, and he takes his and sits in a chair next to me. I hate that he is sitting there. I want him to sit next to me. I want him to kiss me. I want him to sleep with me, like he promised .

Instead, he sits, patiently watching me, as we both sip our wines .

“What do you do?” I ask, trying to distract my nerves .

“Do you really want to know? Or would you prefer, when I make you come, you don’t know anything about me? That way, when this is over, you can go back to whatever you are running from without any attachment .”

“How do you know I’m running from something? Maybe I’m just missing my father .”

“You are .”

I just nod. I don’t know if he means, I’m running from something, missing my father, or both .

“What about you? What do you do ?”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk specifics .”

“No. I’m not going to tell you about me. The more you know, the more it’s likely that you will get attached .”

God, why am I here when this man keeps insulting me? I frown. “I won’t get attached .”

“No?” He raises his eyebrows .

He’s probably right. If I fall for this man, it will only give me more of a reason to run from whomever my father and grandfather have chosen for me .

“Fine.” I sigh. “But I don’t want to tell you about me either .”

If I don’t get to know anything about this man, he doesn’t get to know anything about me .

He nods and takes a slow sip of his drink .

“When are we going to…” my voice says shakily .

“Fuck?” he says, finishing my sentence .

Wine slips from my mouth at how easily the word rolled off his tongue. He probably says fuck daily. He probably fucks daily. I’m never going to live up to the girls he’s had before . I try to push that thought out of my head. He chose me, for whatever reason. And he doesn’t have to know how inexperienced I am .

“Come here,” he says, motioning for me to come to him .

I place my glass on the coffee table and walk to him. When I reach him, he remains seated. So, I stand awkwardly in front of him. I fidget with my hands, not sure what he wants me to do .

Killian chuckles a raspy deep chuckle, like he hasn’t used his voice to laugh in a long time. His hand grabs my wrist, and he pulls me hard onto his lap .

He strokes my cheek. “Don’t think, princess .”