Dirty Beginning (Dirty 0.50)

Shit, now, they are addressing Killian instead of me .

“Killian, I think you’d better finish the presentation,” Granddad says .

I didn’t even realize he was in the room. I’d thought if he heard how great of a job I did from others, he would believe I could do this. Instead, I’ve just fucked up, proving him right .

I swallow before nodding at Killian to finish. He seems reluctant to get up, but he does. I brush past him as I walk. I walk past all the stares. I walk past all the embarrassing murmurs. I walk out of the room until I find my father’s office .

I fall onto my father’s couch, and then I cry. I’ve failed. I can’t do this. I was wrong to even try. Killian knew that. My grandfather knew that. Even my father knew that. They all knew I wasn’t strong enough to handle this .

I should just marry Killian. Or better yet, I should just let him have the company. I could go back to modeling where nobody ever asked me any questions that were difficult. Instead, I got praise daily for how beautiful I was. I felt important. Now, I just feel broken .

“What were you thinking?” Granddad says .

I sit up and wipe my tears. “I just wanted to prove that I could do it, that I could be a part of the company and not just sit on the sidelines while Killian runs it. I just want to be more than a trophy wife .”

He sighs before walking over to me and taking a seat next to me. “I know you do, but you have to know your strengths. That doesn’t include giving big speeches or making decisions. Your beauty is your strength. If you want to help and be a part of the company, then agree to do some modeling for our ads. Be the face of the company, not the voice .”

“But I want more. I want to be more than just a pretty face .”

“You don’t need to be though. You’re beautiful. You have a perfect life. There is no need to throw that all away just to try to feel more useful. If you’re not careful, Killian won’t even want to marry you, and then you’ll be out of luck. I’m afraid I’ll have to make that man CEO whether he marries you or not. He’s too good at his job to let him go to our competition .”

He stands. “If you were smart, you would be focusing on getting him to fall for you instead of thinking of how you can be more useful to the company. You are most useful as Killian’s wife. You need him to fall in love with you before he figures out that I will promote him whether he marries you or not .”

I watch my grandfather as he walks out of my father’s office without saying another word. Killian already knows that he’s invaluable to the company. He already knows that he will become CEO whether or not he marries me. That’s why he proposed what he proposed .

Maybe my grandfather’s right. I should be focused on getting Killian to fall in love with me instead of focusing on getting my grandfather to believe I can do this .

“I figured you would be in here,” Killian says .

“Do you ever knock ?”

“No. You find out the best stuff if you don’t knock .”

I do my best to casually wipe my eyes, so he doesn’t think I’ve been siting here, crying, but it’s no use. He knows that’s what I’ve been doing .

“Here to gloat ?”

He narrows his eyes. “No. I figured you would be the one who was going to do the gloating .”

“Why would I do that? I failed. I lose. You win .”

He smiles. “I would call it more of a tie .”

I watch as he walks over and casually takes a seat on the sofa .

“What do you mean, we tied? I did horrible in there. They were practically laughing at my plan .”

“I wouldn’t say that. They ended up agreeing with you in the end .”

“What? How ?”

He sighs. “I should have told you that there was pushback for even doing the smaller expansion in the first place. Nobody wanted to do it. There was no way that you were going to convince them that we should spend that kind of money and take that kind of risk, no matter what the data said .”

“You did. It took you less than twenty minutes to convince them .”

“Ten actually,” he says, smirking .

I hit him with a throw pillow .