Dirty Beginning (Dirty 0.50)

“Okay,” he says .

I feel the bed shift as he stands from the bed. When I hear the bathroom door close, I open my eyes. I take another deep breath before getting up and walking to the closet. I slip on pajama pants and shirt. I grab a hair tie and quickly gather my hair in a bun on top of my head .

I glance at my phone. It’s three in the morning. I sigh. I’m not going to get much sleep. I probably won’t get any more sleep as soon as he leaves. But I need him gone before I do something stupid that will reveal that I can’t do this, just like he said I couldn’t .

He comes back from the bathroom, but I don’t glance at him as much as my body wants one last peek at his tight abs and impressive cock. I won’t. I had my fun. Now, it’s time to move on .

“I’ll be in the living room,” I say. I walk through the bedroom door and into the living room. I don’t look back .

It only takes him a minute to get dressed. I glance up from my spot on the couch when he enters the living room. He’s dressed. His hair is combed. He looks exactly like he did when he came to pick me up, completely unaffected by what just happened. He probably isn’t affected. He does this once a month with different women all the time. I’m just his whore for the night .

Killian walks to me. He bends down and softly kisses me on the lips. “Sleep well, princess .”

He walks to the door. I don’t get up. I refuse to walk him to the door. That’s what girlfriends do. That’s what women in love do. I’m not in love, not even close .

My eyes follow him though. They follow him to the door. They watch as he pauses for just a second before he opens the door. His eyes meet mine. I swear they look sad, or maybe that’s just my imagination. I don’t know. But then he opens the door, and he’s gone .

I stay on the couch as one tear falls. It hurts, seeing him go .

Tonight was a mistake. I shouldn’t have had sex with him…because I think I just fell a little for him. And if I fall for him, then that gives him the advantage. That means I will do whatever is in his best interest instead of what is in mine. I can’t do that. I have to stay strong. I have to do what I need .

I should be angry with Killian. He lied to me. He took away another bit of my freedom. And I am. I am angry. I’m angry that I didn’t get to experience dating Eli for longer than I did. I’m angry that I didn’t date other men after Eli. I’m angry that Killian is the only man who has ever made me feel loved…except it wasn’t love. It was anger and passion. That’s what made the sex so great. It wasn’t real .

I wipe the fallen tear from my cheek, and then I grab the remote and turn on the TV. Tonight, for the first time, I don’t think of my father and how much I miss him. Instead, I find a new hole in my heart, a hole that can only be filled by Killian. But it’s a hole that will never be filled .

“G ood afternoon, princess.”

I freeze at the words. I was hoping I wouldn’t see him today. Most of the executives don’t work on the weekends. But, of course, that doesn’t include Killian. Of course, he works on weekends. That’s probably why he’s so high up in the company at such a young age .

“What do you want?” I sound annoyed and angry. I’m both of those things right now. I didn’t sleep a second after he left. I lift my coffee to my lips, trying to keep my aggravation and exhaustion at bay .

Killian raises his eyebrows. “Well, aren’t you pleasant? Didn’t sleep well?” He smirks .

My eyes shoot daggers in his direction, and he holds his hands up in defense, like I really was shooting something in his direction .

“What do you want?” I ask again, letting my anger that I never got out last night bubble to the surface .

“I have a crisis that I need your help with .”

I roll my eyes and look back to the computer that I finally figured out the password to. It was princess . I should have known .

Killian walks to me. “I’m serious. You are the only one who can help with this. I even have your grandfather’s approval .”

That has my attention although I don’t know why Killian would suddenly be helping me. Maybe he feels guilty for tricking me into presenting in front of half of the company when he knew they would destroy me with their questions. Maybe he feels guilty for the breakup between me and the only boyfriend I ever had .

“What is it ?”

“Come on, and I’ll show you .”

He reaches his hand out to me, but I don’t take it. I stand and follow him out of my father’s office. I follow him out to the pool at the back of the casino. That’s when I realize what he wants .

“No,” I say .

“Come on, Kinsley. Our other model got sick at the last minute. It’s you, or we will have to pay thousands of dollars to have them come back to reshoot next week. It will also mean the ads will be delayed. We need you .”

Damn it! I hate his pleading expression and puppy-dog

eyes. I can’t say no to him .