I take a long gulp of water as I stare at Scarlett in disbelief. “You were the one who pushed me to go out.”
“Yeah, and you are supposed to listen to every word I say, not go off and make your own stupid decisions like that.”
I roll my eyes at her change from wild friend to motherly concern even though she has every right to be concerned. The last time I did anything remotely crazy, it ended badly.
A phone vibrates, and Scarlett reaches into the pocket of her jeans. She pulls out my phone, and a worried look crosses her face. “I think you’d better answer it. Your father has been calling you nonstop, every twenty minutes, all night.”
I stare at the phone, afraid to take it from Scarlett’s hand. I know what’s waiting for me on the other end of that phone—yelling…lots of yelling and lecturing about my responsibilities, how immature I was last night, and how my parents should take everything away and give it to someone who will respect their terms. I can already hear my father’s stern voice now.
“I’m surprised they haven’t already shown up here,” I say hones
tly.
Scarlett’s eyes grow wide with fear as she thrusts the phone into my hands. “Answer it before they do. I don’t think I could survive getting a lecture from your father.”
I smile weakly as I stare at the still vibrating phone. It’s not my father I have to worry about though. Our relationship has always been good. It’s my grandfather’s lecture that I am worried about.
“Hello?” I say when I answer the phone. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer earlier. I accidentally grabbed Scar’s phone instead of mine. You know how we have the exact same phone. I was so focused on studying last night that I forgot it was Friday. I fell asleep before I remembered. I’m sorry if I worried you, but I’m ready to talk now,” I lie. I’ve never lied in my entire life. It doesn’t feel natural, leaving my lips.
“Kinsley, shut up. I don’t believe a word that is coming out of your mouth anyway. I need you to come home to Vegas immediately. I sent a jet to come pick you up,” Granddad says.
“Wait…what? I have finals all next week. I need to be studying.” I move my phone from my ear to make sure I saw the number correctly. It’s my father’s, not my grandfather’s, number. Why is my grandfather calling me on Dad’s phone?
“It’s an emergency,” he says grumpily into the phone. “Your father’s dead.”
“What?” I say, not believing his words.
He wouldn’t say that to me over the phone.
“Your father’s dead,” he says, repeating his words. “He had a heart attack, probably due to the fact that his only daughter never called him like she was supposed to. You need to come home for the funeral, and so we can decide…”
I don’t hear the rest. I drop my phone and watch it clank against the hard floor. I slump to the floor. Tears stream down my face as Scarlett, my only friend, rushes to my side and holds my body in her arms.
It can’t be true. It can’t be.
“What happened?” Scarlett keeps asking as she holds me firmly in her arms.
“He’s gone,” I finally say between sobs.
And it’s my fault. If I hadn’t gone out last night, if I had called him, he might still be alive. If I hadn’t gone out last night, I could have had one last conversation with him. I could have heard one last piece of advice. I could have heard one last I love you.
I didn’t though. Now, I’ll never get to hear him say those words to me again. It’s all my fault.
I thought that day, the day I found out my father had died, was the worst day of my life. I thought nothing could get worse than that.
I was wrong.
I thought the funeral might be the worst day because I had to say good-bye to the only family member who had understood me at all.
I was wrong.
Today, the day after the funeral, is the worst day. Today, everything has become real. The tears are gone but not the pain. The pain is worse, much worse than I could have ever imagined. I have no one here who can comfort me or steal my mind for just a minute.
Scarlett came to Las Vegas for the funeral, but she’s already gone back to Connecticut to finish her finals. She won’t move back here until later this week.
My mother is a mess. We got into a fight after the funeral. It was about something petty, like what to do with the donations made in my father’s honor. She can’t comfort me.
And my grandfather…I just know it’s best if I stay away from him right now.