I blush at the double meaning of the word. I bite my lip as I debate on what to do. I reach for the phone in my pocket, but I let my hand fall to my side. My father isn’t here to guide me. I have to decide this one on my own. And my body is begging me to go with this stranger. I have no doubt that he will know how to handle my body.
But I can’t. I tried it once, and I ended up puking alone while my father was dying.
“I ca—”
His lips stop me from speaking as his tongue slips into my mouth in one motion. The kiss is long and slow. His tongue takes complete control. When he breaks from the kiss, I’m panting, unable to catch my breath.
“Come with me. You need this.”
I stare at him, still panting hard, while I try to decide if he is a serial killer or not. Based on that kiss though, I’m not sure if I care. I would die happy, kissing this man.
I grab my glass of wine and down the last few drops, hoping the liquid will calm my nerves. It does.
“At least let me take you to get another bottle of your favorite wine.”
“It’s not my favorite.”
“Yes, it is.”
I turn back to the bar, expecting him to order another glass of wine.
“They’re all out.”
“I doubt it.” I try to flag down the bartender, but she won’t stop for me. I sigh.
“Don’t trust me?”
“No, I don’t.”
He flags her down. “Another round,” he says without glancing at her boobs.
“I’m sorry, sir. We are all out of that wine. Can I recommend another one?”
“No, thank you, Clarissa.”
My eyes grow wide at the mention of the bartender’s name. Her name tag sits across the left side of her blouse just above her cleavage. So, he did check out her boobs.
“Come split a bottle of wine with me.”
“Maybe,” I say. I can’t help but smile. I need this. I need to have one night to sleep with whomever I want before I never get to choose again. I need to finish what I never got that night.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Killian’s hotel room is impressive. It’s one of the most impressive hotel rooms I’ve been in, and I’ve been in a lot. It’s large and spacious, and it has more rooms than any hotel room should. It’s also in the Felton Grand, one of my family’s hotels. I didn’t want to come here yet. Not so soon after my father passed away. Not when this is the place that I would miss him the most. But I didn’t want to tell Killian the truth when he brought me to this hotel, so I came.
I shake nervously as I watch him pour two glasses of wine. The nerves at least keep me from thinking about my father. He hands me my glass of wine, and he takes his and sits in a chair next to me. I hate that he is sitting there. I want him to sit next to me. I want him to kiss me. I want him to sleep with me, like he promised.
Instead, he sits, patiently watching me, as we both sip our wines.
“What do you do?” I ask, trying to distract my nerves.
“Do you really want to know? Or would you prefer, when I make you come, you don’t know anything about me? That way, when this is over, you can go back to whatever you are running from without any attachment.”
“How do you know I’m running from something? Maybe I’m just missing my father.”
“You are.”
I just nod. I don’t know if he means, I’m running from something, missing my father, or both.