Not Sorry

I gasp when I see the dark room. It looks like a dungeon and is so different than the bright openness of the rest of his condo.

“What is that?” I ask even though I clearly know what it is. His bedroom and torture chamber.

He chuckles. “My bedroom. What did you think it was?”

I warily look at him, and he laughs again. He puts a finger under my chin, lifting my gaze to his, before he tenderly kisses me on the lips.

“Relax, Olive. It’s just a man’s bedroom. I don’t have whips hanging on the walls. I don’t have handcuffs hiding in drawers. Just a dark, manly room where I can retreat to when I need a break from the world.”

I exhale deeply, not realizing that I was holding my breath the whole time.

“Oh, and I also like it because it’s soundproof.”

And, just like that, he takes my breath away again.

“Now, for that punishment. Since this might be the only time I get to punish you in any sort of sexual manner, I’m going to take full advantage.”

“Just no whips or bondage,” I whisper loud enough for him to hear.

He laughs. He walks over and softly kisses me on the lips again. “You weren’t listening. I already told you, I don’t have any whips or bondage in this bedroom. I’ve used it in the past, and I will again if that’s what you really want, but I prefer to use other means to punish and control.”

I cock my head to the side as I look up at him, confused. “Control?”

He nods. “That is going to be your punishment. For your lesson tonight, you’re gonna learn what it’s like to not have any control and therefore learn that you never want to give it up again.”

It doesn’t sound like that bad of a punishment since it’s not like I would know what to do in the bedroom with a man like Sean anyway.

“Why does everything have to be a lesson with you? Why can’t we just get back at Owen for breaking my heart, and that’s it?”

“Because what fun would that be? And, besides, our time together is limited. I need to take advantage of every second we are together to teach you everything I know.”

He doesn’t have to say that he thinks our time is numbered because, after tonight, I might give up and quit. He thinks I can’t handle working for a man who fucked me and then wanted nothing to do with me. But he doesn’t know me at all. He doesn’t know how loyal and determined I can be to do something when I’ve set my mind to it.

“Do we have an arrangement then? Will you give up control and do whatever I say? Let me fuck you however I want?”

I stare into Sean’s eyes as my heart races in my chest. I’ve had sex with a total of three men in my life. None of them were amazing in bed. All were pretty selfish, more worried about their own pleasure than mine. And I have a feeling that’s what Sean’s about, too. But I know he’ll have a different intensity than the rest, and that intensity will at least make me forget about Owen and what he did to me. I want to know what it’s like to be fucked by a real man. And, if I have to give up some control to get it, so be it. I can always back out in a moment anyway. All I have to do is say no, and he’ll stop. I know that much about Sean. This is him just trying to prepare me for whatever test he has up his sleeve now.

“Yes.”

As soon as I say the word yes, the door slams shut, making me jump. I’m trapped. Saying no isn’t going to get me out of this. I’m not even sure I would have the strength to say no anyway.

“I think I’m going to enjoy this a little too much,” Sean says as he walks toward me.

I don’t move. I can’t move. There’s too much excitement and fear running through my veins for me to be able to think clearly enough to do something as simple as move.

He walks forward until his lips are hovering over mine. He looks me in the eyes one more time, challenging me to stop this, giving me one last chance before I completely relinquish all my control to him. It’s just a second, but it feels like forever while I wait for him to kiss me.

He doesn’t wait for words this time. He just kisses me. I can’t breathe, and I’m not sure I want to ever again because all I want to feel is his tongue on mine, pushing further into my mouth, claiming every inch of my mouth as his.

I never thought a kiss could tell me so much, but his kisses tell me everything he’s feeling. How his lips press firmly against mine and how his tongue pushes inside me—it shows me how much he wants to fuck me. His hands holding firm on my neck and my ass show me how much control he has over me.

He lets go of me, breaking the kiss, and then says, “Breathe, Olive.”

I do, but I don’t take a deep enough breath before his lips cover mine again, making me forget all about the fact that I’m not getting enough oxygen. He pushes the kiss right to my limit, knowing full well that I won’t breathe again until his lips leave mine—not because I can’t, but because I’m completely under his spell.

His lips leave mine, and then again, he says, “Breathe.”

I do but only because he said so. It’s no longer an automatic response for me. I’m too consumed by his kisses to even do something as simple as breathing.