Not Sorry

Jamie continues to cry as I hold her in my arms.

“Nicolas broke up with me,” Jamie finally gets out through sobs.

“Oh, sweetie! I’m so sorry,” I say, holding her tighter.

I don’t know what to say to make it any better for her. She only dated Nicolas two months before she found out she was pregnant. I’m not sure what she expected. But I know telling her that now isn’t helpful.

“Are you okay to be out of bed?” I ask.

Jamie nods. “The doctor said I was fine as long as I take things easy. I was just too stressed at work. But, right now, I need some sort of distraction.”

I hold on to her. “Why don’t I take you to brunch? Food always makes you feel better, and then you can tell me everything that happened.”

Jamie nods. “That sounds good. Sean is supposed to be back soon, and he can handle things here for us.”

I smile. I’m not sure what Sean has told her about me and him. But it hurts me that Sean still talks to her so often, knowing their history. Knowing that they used to work together. Sleep together.

I stand up. “Let me just check in with everyone here first, and then we can go.”

Jamie nods.

But, when I stand up, I feel off. I feel dizzy, sick, like I’m about to puke.

I close my eyes and sit back down on the ground to try to make the nausea and dizziness go away, assuming that I just stood up too fast. But it doesn’t immediately go away.

“Olive, are you okay?” Jamie asks.

I nod and stand up again, but the feeling intensifies.

“Sorry, no, I’m not okay. I feel sick. Maybe I’m coming down with the flu. I’m sorry, Jamie, but I’m not sure if I can go to brunch with you after all.”

Jamie studies me a moment and then says, “You’re pregnant.” She doesn’t ask it. She says it.

I laugh. “You’re crazy. I’m not pregnant. I’m just sick. The flu has been going around here lately.”

Jamie shakes her head. “I could be wrong. It could be just because I’m pregnant that I expect everyone else to be, too. But humor me, and let’s go get you a pregnancy test.”

I frown, not understanding at all what is leading her to think I’m pregnant. I look down at the outfit I chose, and then I realize why. I chose a tight-fitting sweater that makes my pooch of a belly stick out just enough for Jamie to think that. I look bigger than Jamie does. Her belly still looks completely flat to me. She works out a lot, which I guess explains it.

“Please…at the very least, it will distract me,” Jamie says.

“And what if I’m really sick with the flu? You think hanging out with me while you’re pregnant is a good idea?”

She huffs. “You’re right. How about you run to the drugstore next door and then come back here and take the test? If it’s negative, then I’ll keep my distance, but if it’s positive…” Jamie lets her sentence trail off.

I sigh. “Fine,” I say, realizing that Jamie isn’t going to let this go.

I open the door and go grab my coat. Then, I head outside to walk the half a block to the drugstore to get a pregnancy test that I know is going to be negative.

I enter the drugstore a couple minutes later and easily find the pregnancy tests. There are about a dozen different brands though, and I have no idea which to choose. So, I just grab the cheapest brand, and then I walk over to the cold-and-flu section and pick up some meds because that is the more likely reason for me feeling so bad. I debate on picking up soup, but I can order delivery later. I’d rather have that than the cans of soup the drugstore carries.

I pay for the items and then walk back to the office through the freezing cold. I can’t believe I went outside and dealt with the cold just for a freakin’ pregnancy test.

When I get back to the office, more employees have arrived. I nod and greet them as I walk through the office building, trying my best to hide the contents of my bag. I don’t want any rumors started about me, especially since I know I’m not pregnant.

I make it back to the office and slam Jamie’s door shut.

“Did you get the pregnancy test?” Jamie asks.