Fuck.
Her body is more damaged than I ever imagined possible. I don’t know how her body hasn’t already shut down from the pain.
I hoped to see the naked body of the beautiful woman who fell into my lap and begged for my help. Now that body is so scarred, there are only remnants left. She needs to heal.
My cock stiffens at the sight of her nipples hardening in the brisk air.
Damn, cock.
I can’t fuck her. Not here. Not now. I’m better than this.
Our gazes meet, exchanging too many feelings. I hate feelings. I don’t do feelings. Not anymore. I’ve spent the last few years shut off from the world. The only emotion I ever felt was anger and revenge.
Now, looking at Gia as I stand over her, she stirs a feeling I haven’t felt in years. I can’t quite place it. I don’t know what the feeling is called. I hate it. I want it to go away. But I need to wash away any sign of Dante from her body. Or at least, what I can wash away. I know I can’t remove the bruises or scars. Or the mental images from her mind.
I see the same emotion in Gia’s eyes. Revenge is what she runs on. It’s what has kept her alive, but there is something different now.
“Thank you,” she says quietly.
I still. She shouldn’t thank me. Not until she understands what I require of her. Not until she knows who I am. But I recognize it as the feeling in her eyes. She’s thankful. Her eyes say she’s scared to say the words, but she says them because it releases her from any guilt over what comes next.
I feel the reflection of emotion in myself. I’m grateful I have her. That I could save her, whatever that means.
I will accept that I did save her. Dante was set on killing her. Doing everything he could to get to that point and push her over the edge to darkness until her body stopped working, her mind shut down, and she vanished into nothing. If I hadn’t saved her, I’m not sure she would have survived another week. Definitely not another month.
“You’re welcome,” I say, finally admitting what I’ve done.
Gia moves to get off the bed but then stops herself. She looks up at me with her dopey sad eyes. Her eyes say sad, but her long curling eyelashes say beautiful. I could get lost in the length of her lashes.
She exhales deeply, but it comes out more of a huff of frustration.
“Caspian, will you please help me to the bath?”
I catch my breath in my throat. Of all the things I expected her to say, I never expected her to ask for my help. I don’t know what I did to earn her trust, but at this moment, she’s giving it to me.
I don’t say a word. I put one hand under her frail legs and the other under her arms. I lift her, feeling every bone in her body pressing into my chest as I carry her.
I’ve fantasized about carrying her naked since I first saw her. But this is the opposite of what I wanted. This is me taking care of her. This will hurt her worse than any physical thing I could do for her. She can’t feel anything when it comes to me. She can’t like me, or be grateful for me, or love me.
I place her into the warm water of the bath, carefully lowering her as her hands grasp onto the side of the tub to keep herself upright. I turn the faucet off as the water covers her breasts.
I kneel next to the tub. I can’t leave her alone because she could drown, I tell myself. No matter how weak Gia’s body is now, she would never let herself drown. She’s too strong for that. Her spirit won’t allow it.
Gia closes her eyes and lays her head against the back of the tub, letting the warm water go to work on her body and soul. The water immediately turns a light brown color as the caked on dirt washes off her skin.
/> I hold out a bar of soap and wait until she opens her eyes to take it from my hand. She begins moving the bar over her arms and chest, shakily rubbing her skin with the soap. She winces with every tiny movement, either from the energy it takes to move her arm or the pain the bar of soap causes as it moves over her skin.
I can’t keep watching.
My hand reaches out to grab the soap from her, gripping her hand over the soap resting against her chest.
Her eyes meet mine, and I think she’s going to fight me. Tell me she can wash herself. But she slowly relinquishes the bar of soap to me.
My teeth clench together, and my cock is hard as a rock as I move the soap over her chest to wash off the dirt. She watches me a moment. Staring into my eyes like she will find the greatest treasure if she keeps looking. Luckily, my waist is hidden from her view by the side of the tub. She can’t see how hard I am for her and how desperate I am to become Dante. To rip her from the tub and fuck her. If Dante hadn’t already hurt her so much, I would probably be doing just that.
Slowly, Gia closes her eyes and rests her head back while I move as slowly as I can to wash her. Applying just enough pressure to clean away the dirt, while careful not to press too hard and cause her more pain.
Every once in a while she bites her lip, winces, or lets out a low moan when I press too hard. But for the most part, I feel like I’m in more pain than she is.