I lean my head against the window, looking out into the dark sky that is getting darker with every second that passes, just like the pain in my heart. I let the pain and darkness wash over me. I let it harden my heart, and then I push it out, so I don’t have to feel it.
And then I close my eyes as the tears continue down my cheeks. The plane takes off, and it all becomes real. Heath is my husband. I love him, yet I will never see him again.
But he’s safe. I saved him. And, if it was the last thing I got to decide in my life, it was the best choice I’d ever made. Because Heath deserves to live. He deserves to be saved. He deserves to be loved. And there is no greater way to show my love than by saving him.
* * *
I wake up with a startle.
It takes me a second to realize where I am. Kidnapped and on a plane with Arlo, headed back to Italy. Except, unlike my last trip to Italy, I don’t think this one is going to be as nice.
I look around the plane and find Arlo sitting next to me, looking at me with careful eyes.
“How long was I asleep?” I ask, hoping we only have minutes left on the flight. Because, if we still have hours left, then it gives me too much time to deal with the anxiety and fear as I think about what is going to happen next. I want to be there now. I just want to figure out what my new life is and start fighting.
“A couple of hours,” he says.
I exhale deeply. We have several hours left.
“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” Arlo asks.
My eyes shoot daggers over at him. “I thought that kidnappers were supposed to be cruel to those they kidnapped.”
Arlo stands up and goes over to the small bar area at the front of the plane. I watch as he pours a glass of wine and picks up a meat and cheese tray. He walks back and places both in front of me on the table that he pulled out from the wall.
He then takes a seat across from me.
“I didn’t kidnap you. I kidnapped Heath. You chose to take his place.”
I don’t want to eat or drink anything that Arlo has given me, but I’m hungry, and the alcohol will help with the pain. I pop a piece of cheese into my mouth and then start on the wine. I frown the whole time, showing him how displeased I am with this situation, but the second the wine touches my tongue, I melt just a little. The wine is the most extravagant thing I have ever tasted. It’s delicious, and I know I’m going to drink the entire bottle before we get to Italy.
Arlo smiles, satisfied, as I drink the wine.
I hate him.
But it doesn’t stop me from drinking.
“Feel better?” he asks.
“No, I don’t feel better. You just ruined my life. You took me away from the only person I’ve ever loved. I hate you. I will never feel better until you are dead and I’m free again. When will that be?”
He continues to study me with his frigid eyes. “Sooner than you think.”
I narrow my eyes, not understanding anything.
Arlo takes a drink from his scotch. “You really loved him, didn’t you?”
I don’t want to tell him anything. He doesn’t deserve to know anything personal about me.
But I can’t help but answer his question, “Yes, I really loved him. I’ll always love him.”
Arlo rubs his neck. “Why? You barely knew each other.”
I look out the window and into the dark night. I know we are somewhere over the ocean, but I can’t make out the water from so high up. It all looks the same. One dark void that I will never escape from.
I shake my head. No. I will escape. I will find a way through what seems like the impossible. I will not let him win.
I hear Arlo stand up and walk the two feet toward me.