I hate her answer. But it’s payback for my answer. And, honestly, I don’t think she can answer my question yet. We’ve played with her mind too much these past weeks. And I think she can be obsessed with more than one man at a time. I think, if she were to answer honestly, she would have to say all three of us: Heath, Matteo, and me for different reasons. But, if she could choose whom she wanted most, it would still be Heath. He’s the only one who hasn’t fucked her against her will. It will always be Heath.
“How does the game end?” she finally asks.
I know what she’s asking. Will she die? And it’s a question I can’t answer definitively. But, if I go off of what happened to the other women, then yes, she doesn’t stand a chance. Two killed themselves rather than deal with being someone’s slave. Three, my father killed. And one, I killed out of mercy. None of them even lasted a year even though they were all given the same length of time—seven years.
She sees the answer in my eyes, and her whole body slumps.
I walk over and wrap my arms around her, surprised that she will let me hold her when I just told her she will probably die and I won’t do anything to save her.
“You’re strong though. The strongest. You can survive.”
And then I kiss her because I need to feel her lips on me again. I don’t know how much time I have left with her. Another second. Another hour. Another day.
Or much longer. Weeks, months, years. But, now that I have one tiny bit of her heart, I will do anything to keep it for as long as I can.
32
Nina
I finally have the truth.
It’s what I’ve wanted this whole time. To know everything. Then, I would be on an equal playing field. But, now that I know everything, I’m afraid it was a mistake. I’m more terrified than I ever was before.
Arlo was terrified to tell me the truth. He was afraid it would break me. It would make me stop fighting. Or that he was effectively signing my death sentence by telling me all of the family secrets.
His fear made my fear worse.
But it’s easy to forget about all of that when I’m wrapped in his sexy arms, in his bed, and I haven’t dealt with any real pain in weeks. Both of the Carini brothers have done everything to take care of me these last few weeks. And my life has become pleasant, if not enjoyable. I’ve had plenty of food, plenty of company, and plenty of sex.
Enrico hasn’t returned, and I’ve been driven into a false sense of security. But last night changed all of that. I fucked them separately and got all of my questions answered. I can’t go back to just fucking them both. They won’t allow it. They will want me to choose one of them. And, if I don’t, what will happen?
I don’t know. But, whatever happens, going forward, a change is coming. And I’m afraid that change is never good.
I sit up in bed and feel my body ache from being fucked all night. It’s a good kind of soreness but one I’d rather sleep off while curled in Arlo’s arms for the foreseeable future. If I’m asleep, I don’t have to make decisions. Nothing has to change.
But I can’t face Arlo’s questions when he wakes up. So, I force myself to leave his arms and his bed. I get up and go to his closet to find a pair of pants and a T-shirt that smells the least like him that I can. His closet is a perfectly organized array of dark shirts and pants. There isn’t a single color outside of the gray or black family.
I grab a T-shirt and one of only two pairs of sweatpants and put them on before sneaking back out into his bedroom. I look back at him peacefully sleeping in the bed before turning my attention one last time to the painting of me. It’s strange—seeing such a beautiful painting of myself. I look strong, powerful, albeit a little bit sad. It’s how he sees me. I want to be that strong, powerful woman he painted. Maybe that woman has a chance to survive.
I walk out of his bedroom and stop one more time to look at all of his striking paintings that show so many feelings. I would have never thought of him as a painter. Just like I would have never imagined Matteo as a doctor before he stitched up Arlo and took care of me. But, now that I know this is who they are, I want to know more about them. Who are they really, and what have they been hiding about themselves from me and the rest of the world?
Instead of staying around to find answers, I leave Arlo’s safe haven and go back into the real world. Or, at least, the shitty world that I currently exist in. My stomach growls immediately, and I know the answer to where my first stop will be. I don’t have to worry about running into Matteo. Both brothers are night owls and rarely up before noon. The only time I’ve seen either of them up early is when their father is around.
I head to the kitchen where I scramble some eggs and make toast before taking my plate of food to the library. I haven’t spent nearly enough time there, and I want to get a few books to take with me while I hide out in my room for a while until I figure out my next plan. I enter the room and almost drop my plate when I see Gia sitting in the corner of the room.
She glances over at me when I enter, but she doesn’t really look at me. She looks through me.
I haven’t seen her since the first day I came here. She’s kept her distance, and I’ve spent most of my time in one of her brother’s beds.
I don’t know what to do. Should I go talk to her? Should I ignore that she’s here? Turn and walk back out?
I choose to continue on with what I’m doing and ignore that she is here. If she wants to talk to me, she will. Otherwise, I should leave her alone. I don’t want to cause her any more pain than I already have.
I walk over to the mystery section of the library and pick up the first couple of books that look interesting. I take them over to the small chair in the corner to look through while I eat my breakfast. Reading a mystery might help me get some ideas of how to get out of the current mess I’m in or at least keep my mind occupied for a little while.
“You made a mistake,” Gia says.
I look up from the book I was staring at, and I wait for her to say more.