Dirty Obsession (Dirty 1)

My heart stops when she says that. “What do you mean?”

He’s never shown me any signs that he’s unhappy.

“He loves you. He always will, and he will never tell you this because he loves you so much and doesn’t want to lose you, but his whole life has become about you. He obsesses about you. He doesn’t work anymore. He doesn’t have hobbies or friends. All he does is worry if you are safe. You have to set him free.”

I swallow hard just as Heath walks over. He said he would let me go to lunch with just Eden and my security team to ensure that I was safe. But he can’t even do that.

Eden turns and sees him, too. “I’m going to take my pizza to go.” Eden gives Heath a sweet smile and me a knowing look before she leaves.

“She didn’t have to go,” Heath says.

“She needed to. Can we talk?” I ask.

“Of course.” He takes Eden’s seat across from me.

“I don’t know how to start this.” I swallow and then say some of the hardest words of my life, “I love you, Heath. That will never, ever change, no matter what happens. You don’t know how happy I am that I found you before I was kidnapped. Knowing that I had you to return to kept me alive more than once, and for that, I’m forever grateful. And, if I hadn’t had been kidnapped, I’m sure that we would have spent a lifetime being happy together. But I was kidnapped. And it’s changed us both.”

“What are you saying?”

“That we both feel trapped right now. And that’s no way to live. I want us to be free.”

Heath narrows his eyes at me as he tries to understand what I’m saying. “I love you, Nina. I’ll do anything for you.”

I smile. “I know you will. It’s one of the reasons I love you so much. But this isn’t healthy. Neither of us is really living. We are just worrying that something is going to happen to the other. We are living in fear. And I can’t have that. I think we need a break. Not necessarily a breakup. But just some time to live on our own.”

“No, I don’t want to be without you.”

I feel the knot in my stomach. I could lose him if I do this. But I need some time on my own. I need some time to figure out who I am without a man again. I need some time to figure out where my heart lies.

“I’m not saying forever. Just give me one month. One month apart, and then you tell me how you feel. Then, you tell me what you want.”

He scowls.

“I’ll have the security team with me the whole time. You can still get daily reports. And I’ll call you often. I just need to be alone for a little while. And I think you need some time to find yourself again without me.”

He narrows his eyes, but I see he understands.

“Can you agree to that?”

“One month?”

I nod.

“I’m going to miss you like hell. But, yes, I’ll always give you what you need.”

* * *

Thirty days go by far faster than I ever thought it could.

I’ve spent my time doing everything I never thought I would. I rented a tiny shack in the middle of nowhere, and I spent my time reading, going to the shooting range, and painting. Even though my paintings always turned out horrible, they were therapeutic to paint.

I talked to Heath several times over the month, and every time I did, he sounded happier. Freer. He started working again. Hanging out with friends. Living again.

I’m starting to be happy again, too. I still don’t know what my future holds, but I do know that I don’t need a man to take care of me to be happy. I can find happiness in myself.

Today is the last day of our month apart. We haven’t talked about what we are going to do on our first day back together. We haven’t talked about how we are going to be reunited, but I’m sure Heath will call later tonight to make a plan.

I hear a knock on the front door of the cabin I’m renting. I walk to the door, already knowing it’s Jeffrey.