Dirty Obsession (Dirty 1)

“I don’t have one either.” I frown.

Asher takes a deep breath as we both realize that we are going to have to wait—at least until we can find one inside or go grab one at the store.

“I’m on the pill,” I say out of nowhere. I don’t know why I said it. Like the pill is magically going to fix our predicament.

“I’m clean. Although I don’t expect you to trust me.”

“I’m clean, too. And I do trust you.”

We each take a deep breath in and out and then decide to trust each other even though I have no reason to trust him, and he doesn’t know me well enough to trust me. Even though he thinks he does.

He thinks I’m perfect, incapable of doing anything wrong. He’s wrong. I’m more than capable of ripping out his heart. But he trusts me. And, at least tonight, I don’t plan on betraying that trust.

We kiss again, slower this time, as the waves crash around us. I reach for his pants, pushing them down so that I can feel his cock against my stomach. He lifts me up and gives me one last chance to back down before guiding me onto his cock.

I float in the water as Asher guides me up and down, our lips locked and my hands grasping on to his shoulders.

Maybe other people have had bad experiences of fucking in the water. But this is different than anything I’ve ever experienced. The ocean is the perfect place for us. We both understand it; we get it. The waves crash in, moving Asher in and out of me. I ride him over and over as the waves and Asher move me.

I feel freer than I have felt in a long time, fucking like this. But, when I look into Asher’s eyes, I realize why this feels so much different than any other experience I have ever felt before. Because, this time, we aren’t fucking.

“I love you,” Asher whispers against my lips.

I can barely catch my breath, but somehow, I manage to say back to him, “I love you, too.”

This time is different. It’s making love, not fucking.

And, if I could take this moment with me forever, I would. Just live right here on the beach in Asher’s arms and never return to the real world. The problem is, when the sun sets and this moment is gone, everything will be different. Because I know what I have to do next, and it’s going to change everything.

She said, “I love you.”

That was music to my ears.

But I can’t help but think, What the fuck is wrong with me?

I’ve thought it every day for the last week.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I don’t fall in love with women. I’ve seen the heartache that comes when that happens. Someone always gets hurt.

But, with Sloane, everything is different. I’ve fallen in love with her. I want her to be mine forever. I just have to make it official.

I know she loves me. Even before she said the words, I knew it was what she felt. But something has been holding her back. Something has been preventing her from moving forward. From actually letting herself be in love with me.

She let herself just be in the moment for one night. That one night when she said she loved me. But, the rest of the week, she has kept her distance. She’s been busy at work. I don’t know why though.

Is she upset she found out that I’m a thief, a criminal who has been in and out of jail too many times to count?

Is she upset that she fell in love with me?

Is she not convinced that I’m in love with her?

Does she think our lives are too different for us to be together?

Whatever the reason, I’m going to fix it tonight.

I haven’t told her why I started stealing yet. She probably thinks I was just a crazy, wild child who liked hurting people. And, while that is part of the excitement for me, it’s not the whole story. Not even close. I have to explain everything to her.