MaddAddam (MaddAddam 3)

"Everything in," said Katrina. "I'll tell the girls."

The House Special involved a private feather room with a green satin bedspread and three reptilian Scalies billed as catering to your every whim, and the Taste of Eden was a headbender kicktail guaranteed to deliver maximum bliss. Once that thing had been swallowed the client would be off in a world of wonders all his own. Zeb had tried some of the stuff on offer at Scales, but he'd never drunk the Taste of Eden kicktail. He was afraid of the visions he might have.

There it was now, standing on the counter. It was dark orange and fizzing slightly, and had a swizzle stick with a plastic snake curled around it, skewering a maraschino cherry. The snake was green and sparkly, with big eyes and a smiling lipstick mouth.

Zeb should have resisted his evil impulses. What he did was reckless, he admits that freely. But you only live once, he told himself, and maybe the Rev had used up his once. Zeb wondered which of the three pills to slip into the drink - the white, the red, or the black. But why be stingy? he admonished himself. Why not all?

"Down the hatch, good buddy." "Have a wild trip!" "Up and at 'em!" "Knock 'em dead!" Were such archaic chunks of joshery still uttered on occasions like this? It appeared so. The Rev was patted and treated to a bouquet of softly knowing haw-haws, then led away for his treat by three lithe snakelets. All four of them were giggling: eerie to remember that, in retrospect.

Zeb longed to excuse himself from bar duty and slide into the video viewing cubicle where a couple of Scales security personnel monitored the private feather rooms for trouble. He didn't know how those pills would act. Did they make you very sick, and if so, how? Maybe the effect was long-term: maybe those babies didn't kick in for a day, a week, a month. But if it was anything more rapid, he sure as hell wanted to watch.

Doing so, however, would finger him as the perpetrator. So he waited stoically though tensely, ears pricked, humming silently to himself to the tune of "Yankee Doodle":

My dad loved walloping little kids,

He loved it more than nooky,

I hope he bleeds from every pore,

And chucks up all his cookies.

After a few too many repetitions of that, there was some tooth static: someone else was talking to the gatekeeper guys at the front. After what seemed like a long time but wasn't, Katrina WooWoo came through the doorway that led to the private rooms. She was trying to appear casual, but the clicking of her high heels was urgent.

"I need you to come backstage," she whispered to him.

"I'm on bar duty," he said, feigning reluctance.

"I'll call in Mordis from the front. He'll take over. Come right now!"

"Girls okay?" He was stalling: if something bad was happening to the Rev, he wanted it to keep on happening.

"Yes. But they're frightened. It's an emergency!"

"Guy go berserk?" he said. They sometimes did: the effects of the Taste of Eden weren't always predictable.

"Worse than that," she said. "Bring Jeb too."

Raspberry Mousse

The feather room was a cyclone site: a sock here, a shoe there, smears of unidentified substances, bedraggled feathers everywhere. That lump in the corner must've been the Rev, covered by the green satin bedspread. Oozing out from under it was a hand-span of red foam that looked like a badly diseased tongue.

"What happened?" Zeb asked innocently. It was hard to look really innocent with shades on - he'd tried in the mirror - so he took them off.

"I've sent the girls to tak

e showers," said Katrina WooWoo. "They were so upset! One minute they were ..."

"Peeling the shrimp," said Zeb. It was the staff slang for getting a dink out of his clothes, the underpants in particular. There was an art to it, as to everything, said the Scalies. Or a craft. A slow unbuttoning, a long, sensuous unzipping. Hold the moment. Pretend he's a box of candies, lick-a-licious. "Lick-a-licious," Zeb said out loud. He's shaken: the effect on the Rev had been far worse than he'd imagined. He hadn't intended actual death.

"Yes, well, good thing they didn't get that far, because he, well, he simply dissolved, according to the monitors in the video room. They've never seen anything like it. Raspberry mousse, is what they said."

"Crap," said Jeb, who'd lifted a corner of the bedspread. "We need a water-vac, it's like a very sick swimming pool under there. What hit him?"

"The girls say he just started to froth," said Katrina. "And scream, of course. At first. And tear out feathers - those are ruined, they'll have to be destroyed, what a waste. Then it was no longer screaming, it was gurgling. I'm so worried!" She was understating: scared was more like it.

"He had a meltdown. Must be something he ate," said Zeb. He meant it for a joke; or he meant it to be mistaken for a joke.

Katrina didn't laugh. "Oh, I don't think so," she said. "Though you're right, it might have been in food. Nothing he ate here though, no way! It has to be a new microbe. Looks like a flesh-eater, only so speeded up! What if it's really contagious?"