“No! Never. I’ve never done anything to suggest such things.” The thought hit Laurent with the heat of an iron poker, and he stilled, kneeling on the floor and unsure what to do. No matter how much he craved to know carnal delights with another man, he was beyond overwhelmed.
“Ah, that is very well indeed. A flower for me to pluck,” William said, urging Laurent to get up by holding his jaw gently.
The words sent a shiver down Laurent’s spine, but he let William guide him up. “Do you have… much experience in these matters?” When this had been still merely a fantasy in Laurent’s mind, no worry reached his starved body, but now that William called him a ‘flower to pluck’, he wasn’t all that sure how he felt about it. A plucked flower was only good for so long before being thrown away.
“Quite enough,” William said, pulling on the cravat Laurent had so meticulously fastened earlier. The knot came undone, and William’s warm hand trailed down his chest. “I will teach you things you’ve never even imagined.”
Laurent took a step back, but William didn’t let go of the neckcloth, holding Laurent with it as if the dainty fabric were a collar. “That is… what I want. Very much so. But I’m afraid nerves are getting the best of me, and I would much rather if we had a chance to get better acquainted first, William.”
“Nonsense. We are quite well acquainted already. Are you forgetting all of our conversations?” William asked, pulling on the neckcloth, as if to tug it off.
“I know, but this type of connection is new to me. I’m not even sure how to go about these things.” Laurent grabbed William’s wrist. The sweet scent in the room was beginning to make him sick. “Could we please kiss again?”
William went silent in a way that had worry choking Laurent. When he spoke, his voice was no less pleasing than before, but there was a hint of impatience in it, and with his face a blur right in front of Laurent, it was impossible to know what the fine lines on William’s face were telling him. “You agreed to visit me here, in my private chambers where I don’t invite many guests. Does that not prove my interest in a sufficient manner?”
“It does!” Laurent was quick to answer. “But I didn’t know what coming here meant, and I do, I do still want to… learn. It’s just that we have all night, so maybe let’s not rush so much?” He leaned in for a kiss, in an attempt to appease William.
William exhaled against his lips but didn’t move to touch him. “Why would you be wooing me if you didn’t intend to follow through? I will not be manipulated like this.’
Laurent slid his arms to William’s sturdy shoulders. Why was he so confused? He did want to be touched by William. Hadn’t he dreamed of a night spent in William’s arms, their limbs entangled, their mouths dancing together as if no air was needed?
He took a deep breath and leaned into William’s chest. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me if I’m being rude.”
William exhaled, as if he was still angry yet tried to rein in his emotions. “Thank you. Your apology is accepted,” he said, pushing Laurent back on the bed and immediately following him to the fresh blankets.
Laurent dared a trembling smile, hoping to make up for the earlier fiasco. His hands drifted back to William’s chest on their own accord, and just touching the man, even if through a layer of silk, was calming Laurent down in the most pleasant of ways.
He was being silly. Hadn’t that first kiss turned his world upside down? Didn’t he want so much more of that? Didn’t he want to touch William’s naked skin? He couldn't wait forever, if he were to reach out for this forbidden fruit. And how long would his eyesight still last him? There were no guarantees that he could still attract a man once his eyes gave up and drowned him in lifelong darkness. This could be his one chance to find happiness, and he wouldn’t let insecurity take it away from him.
William shifted on top of him and pushed up one of Laurent’s hands, entwining their fingers as they kissed. William’s lips, while sweet and still tasting of apples, felt more aggressive than before, almost as if he was about to take a chunk of Laurent’s meat and chew on it.
Laurent did his best to answer in the same fervent manner, even though his fingers were beginning to hurt from the strong grip. William’s weight on top was surprisingly pleasant, robbing him of breath, and making him imagine all the ways in which they could connect tonight. His grip on William’s shoulder strengthened when he started worrying over the pain the lovemaking could bring. But if William was experienced, wouldn’t he know how to go about those things?