'And after Tom was born?'
'She didn't even hold him. She refused to accept professional counselling, and we continued to present the facade of one big happy family!' The bitterness in his voice made Hannah long to comfort him, but she knew he hadn't finished yet, and she instinctively knew he needed to expose what he saw as his shortcomings.
'If Catherine had married someone else she'd probably still be alive now. Someone who hadn't coaxed away her doubts about starting a family. When she kept putting it off I said there was never a perfect time to start.'
It felt strange, feeling pity for someone she'd envied for so long, but Hannah did. 'Lots of women fit families into successful careers, Ethan.'
'Because they want to. I convinced myself that deep down she wanted all the things that I did, but she didn't. With Emma, I think it was just a matter of getting it over with as far as she was concerned. Oh, she loved her, but she was never demonstrative. I suppose I resented all the times Emma got pushed into the back- ground. That's why I overreacted when I thought you'd forgotten about Emma—Catherine forgot about Emma all the time.' The bleak way he said it brought tears to Hannah's eyes. 'I tried to compensate, and then Catherine would accuse me of spoiling the child. It was an impossible situation.'
1 think it's likely Catherine was conforming with society's expectations rather than yours when she decided to have a child, Ethan. Women are expected to want children.'
'Are you trying to make me feel better about myself, my love?'
'Am I your love, Ethan?' she asked softly, winding her arms about his neck.
'Do you still want me? I'm a bit of a flawed hero, and you haven't heard the worst yet.'
'You can't get rid of me so easily.' She'd banish the torment from his voice and heart if it took her for ever. She and Ethan had for ever now; the knowledge made her heart soar. 'You'll never get rid of me.' Her body vibrated with the deep sincerity of her words. He could save the worst for later—right now the priority was to show him exactly how much she loved him.
'You have no idea how much I've missed holding you, touching you,' he breathed as his lips slid down the side of her neck.
'When I agreed to marry you I never thought you'd love me. I thought I could be satisfied with just being close.'
'And were you?'
'Not once you'd kissed me. Could you kiss me again, Ethan?' she whispered.
'Whilst he willingly obliged, Hannah's fingers were busy flicking open the buttons on his shirt. 'What are you doing?' he gasped throatily when her busy fingers didn't stop there.
Hannah gave a voluptuous sigh and buried her face in the soft hair that was sprinkled over his chest. I’ve not worked out the details yet,' she admitted frankly as she pushed his shirt firmly out of the way, 'but it sort of goes like this...'
Ethan watched through half-closed eyes as she slid to her knees. A harsh, guttural groan was wrenched from the depths of his chest as her mouth touched him.
'Hannah!'
'I thought I'd work out the details as I go along.' It was a liberating feeling, being shameless.
His fingers brushed the top of her glossy head before tangling deep into the soft waves as she became more engrossed in her self-appointed task to drive him insane. 'What are you trying to do to me?'
Her head fell back against his circling hands and she gazed up at him with hot-eyed, sultry provocation. I’d have thought that was obvious,' she challenged huskily.
His thumbs were locked at the back of her head. She turned to one side and took one of his fingers inside her mourn, suckling slowly and luxuriously. She felt the muscles in his thighs bunch and tighten as if the relatively innocent action was just as stimulating as the intimacy of seconds before.
'Don't!' she protested weakly as he drew her to her feet. Her legs could hardly bear her weight. Under the light covering of sweat, her body burnt. The burning continued inside too, in the aching hunger that writhed deep in her belly. 'I thought you liked...' Her voice trailed off under the impact of his molten gaze. The pupils had expanded to obliterate almost all of the light grey of his eyes. The driving, almost mindless need she saw there killed off any sudden nagging doubts she'd begun to nourish about offending him. 'Why?'
'I don't want to be the only one who is satisfied.' He'd been tempted by her obvious willingness to set aside her own needs; what man wouldn't have been? 'I want to feel your pleasure too.' He ran a hand that wasn't quite steady down the curve of her cheek. His fingers trailed across her chin before touching the pink outline of her lips. His chest expanded rapidly as her tongue darted out and the sound that emerged from his throat was one of pain.
Hannah could empathise—the pleasure did bring pain, the wrenching pain of anticipation and need. 'It was pleasure,' she assured him throatily. 'You're pleasure, touching you., .tasting you. I didn't know just seeing you aroused and knowing I can make you...' She shook her head, still stunned by the discovery that to give pleasure could be just as erotic as receiving it. 'I've fantasised about...' Bands of hot colour flared across her cheekbones but she didn't remove her luminous eyes from his. 'I didn't know it would feel like—that I would feel like that.' A voluptuous shiver ran through her body and, despite the heat she was generating, goosebumps broke out over the slick surface of her skin.