On Your Knees, Prospect (Kings of Hell MC 3)

“Did you say paddle?”

“Y-yes. He wasn’t a gentle guy, so that was how I kind of imagined it. I guess I’m not as innocent as I claim to be. But then I started hanging out with the Kings of Hell, and it all fell into place. They were these older guys, many of them gay or bi. They wanted to fuck me, and because of the hierarchy it was obvious they’d order me around. And man… I wanted to be a prospect so bad.”

Vars petted Jake’s head. “I get that. Wasn’t easy for me either before I found out what I liked. Sex is almost always pleasant to some extent, but my fantasies were so far off what my partners wanted, one of us would always be disappointed in one way or another. When I found BDSM, it was a revelation.”

Jake kissed Vars’s shoulder. “I know. As a prospect, I had an excuse to serve all those authoritative guys. I could stop worrying, because it was my duty, so they wouldn’t think any less of me. And a few times, when I messed something up—please don’t laugh—King, the old prez, he made me kneel in the corner of his room naked. I never told anyone about it. It felt illicit, but even when I was hurting, or tired, I endured this because it turned me on that he was making me.”

“Would he fuck you afterward?”

“Yeah,” Jake whispered, “And he’d only let me get up once he was done. He would hold me in place, and just push his dick in. It was kinda wrong, but so hot too.”

Vars chewed on his lip and gently brushed hair off Jake’s forehead. “Did you agree to this beforehand?”

“Um, no. It was punishment. Is it bad that I liked it?” Jake looked up, all of a sudden nervous that he’d revealed too much.

“No. No, you can like whatever. But he should have made sure it was okay with you. It was wrong of him not to do that. I think sex shouldn’t be punishment, unless it’s in a scene.”

Jake bit his lip when he noticed that it trembled. As much as he loved Vars’s experience, it also made him feel like a silly boy wanting to conquer the world with a water gun. “I got caught up in it. I believed that I had to do everything I was told as a prospect, and now you… you’re offering all this stuff as my equal, and I’m not even sure where to start anymore. I don’t know what I actually want. I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Vars brushed Jake’s face with his fingertips, his body so steady Jake wished he could permanently melt into it. “I don’t think you could disappoint me, Jake. You’re a good boy. You like to work, you like to submit, and you are so sweet I could eat my next meal off you.”

Jake’s stomach twisted, and he shut his eyes, unable to look at Vars when his thoughts went back to the closed doors in the hallway. “What if I said I wanted to see your playroom, wanted to give it a shot, but then chickened out?”

Vars sighed, but the slight smile wouldn’t disappear from his mouth. “BDSM is all about negotiation. We will work out what you like and what you don’t like, if that’s what you want.”

“After all… we’ve got all eternity, right?” Jake laughed nervously and got to his toes to kiss Vars on the lips.

An eternity with Vars. No rush to work everything out at once. If Vars was the one to guide Jake, maybe it wasn’t all that scary. With him, Jake would always know where he stood. The world wouldn’t be spinning that quickly anymore.

Vars’s eyes fluttered shut, and he inhaled rapidly. “I know this is early, but... what Damon did made me look at things in a new light. You might think it’s fast, but I already know that I really, really care about you.”

Jake smiled into another kiss and wrapped his arms around Vars’s neck, going weak for the gentle scratch of Vars’s facial hair. His heart was thrashing in his chest uncontrollably, pumping giddiness into his blood. “Will you guide me through this? Show me what you want?”

Vars’s nostrils flared, and his gaze instantly became more intense, as if he’d inhaled cocaine along with Jake’s scent. “Only if you promise that you tell me immediately if you’re uncomfortable with something. We will sit down and talk in detail about those things later, but I have a few things in mind that shouldn’t be objectionable,” he said, winking.

“What if I backtrack, change my mind later? Is that still okay?” Jake asked, yet he already knew the answer. Vars oozed both safety and dominance, a mixture that was like gargoyle catnip.