On Your Knees, Prospect (Kings of Hell MC 3)

“No, it does not,” Vars said sharply, and held Jake’s shoulder in a tighter grip. “You already turned twice. Don’t you remember what happens once you become Azog for the third time? The collar won’t help.”

He could no longer hear any music, as if the pulsing stone in his chest muted out more than just their conversations, enclosing them in a tightly-sealed vacuum. Jake’s gaze, blue as cornflowers yet sharp and determined, looked back at Vars in a challenge of his authority that could end in those eyes never looking at Vars again. They would forever stay crimson. Jake’s mind would be consumed by the beast from hell, and Vars would have no means to stop it.

Fox raised his hands. “Er… Did I miss something? What happens then?”

Gray crossed his arms on his chest. “He won’t be able to become himself again. I agree with Vars on this one. It’s out of the question.”

Jake mirrored Gray’s gesture. “I still think it’s up to me to decide, but if you don’t want me going with you, fine.”

“Look at him, member for five minutes, and already so cocky,” Joker laughed, but no one else did, so he ended up pretending he’d coughed.

Vars stared at Jake, at once wishing to hug him close to his chest and chain him up so that he wouldn’t end up irreversibly harming himself. The way Jake so eagerly jumped on the opportunity to put himself in mortal danger, with no regard for his own life or Vars’s feelings, was stirring up a cauldron of burning lead deep in Vars’s chest.

“You won’t do it. You can’t just throw your life away like that. You’ve already earned the right to sit at this table. You don’t owe anyone this kind of sacrifice!”

Gray watched them from across the table, his face not expressing any emotion even when his attentive eyes followed each movement like a camera. “Vars is right. It’s not even the question of risk. For all we know, this transformation would be permanent.”

For once, even Knight’s usual half-smile was gone. “Jake, don’t be stupid. We all accept risks, but no one will let you go on a suicide mission.”

Jake shook his head. "Aren't we family? Don't we all pledge to do whatever's necessary for the good of the club?" Jake asked. He looked everywhere but at Vars, eventually focusing his gaze on Beast. “I’m not saying I want to do it, prez, but if there’s no other way, I want you to know I would.”

Beast stared back at him, so stiff even his chest was barely moving, but the scar tissue on his face twitched, betraying tension. “It’s a heist. I’m sure we can pay a professional to go with Gray. There is no need for this, Jake. But I appreciate your dedication. We’ll talk more about it all tomorrow. Tonight, we celebrate patching in the two of you.

“Vars? What can I say, good job on the accounts. I’ll drink to many fruitful years of that in the future. Jake, I’m proud of how far you’ve come since we first met. You couldn’t have imagined what kind of shit you were stepping into, but you took it all on the chin, and everyone can see how much you’ve grown, and how much responsibility you’re willing to take on. What I’m also trying to say is that you don’t actually have to carry it all on your shoulders, because we’re brothers, and we’ll all help you along the way.”

The entirety of the skin on Vars’s body felt like one big scab, and every word from Beast’s lips like a clawed hand opening up all the wounds. “None of this means anything if you’re enabling my boy’s dumb ideas. Don’t you see he’s only saying this to make you feel like you’ve made the right decision patching him in, even if it means he’d certainly die? Is that what brotherhood means to you?”

Beast’s hand squeezed on the edge of the table top, and he stared back at Vars in the complete silence that ensued. “It’s you who should be proud of him that he’s ready to make sacrifices. We all are. No one wants to hold him to those declarations right now.”

“You should calm the fuck down,” Knight said, rising from the chair on Beast’s side, only to lean over the table toward Vars and Jake. “It’s not the end of the world yet, so we don’t have to make those kinds of decisions, but the two of you need to discuss how this thing between you is supposed to work, because if Jake is his own man now, don’t challenge him during church. He might be your boy in the bedroom, but he’s our man here.”

“I won’t do it,” Gray said, and his quiet voice instantly grabbed everyone’s attention. He looked around, as if wanting to make sure everyone would hear him out, and went on, “I won’t take Jake on this mission. He’s inexperienced and, frankly, a danger to himself if that’s how ready he is to put his own life on the line. If this is what it takes, I refuse to go. The world can end for all I care.”