Jake crossed his arms on his chest with a scowl, and the way he wouldn’t even look Vars’s way was becoming unbearable. “Thanks a lot, Gray. Nice to see what you really think about me. Like you haven’t risked your life for the club a million times over.”
Two slim fists descended on the table so hard the bottle standing next to Gray didn’t fall over only because Rev grabbed it in time. “I think you’re only twenty-one, and that you deserve more from life than becoming a tool for a single heist. I did risk my life, yes, but as you said—it was risk. I was never put in a position where I’d know for certain that I wouldn’t come back to my family, but that is exactly what you’re offering us.”
Jake’s face spoke of all the disgruntlement in the world, but at least Gray’s argument seemed to sink in. “If it helps, I can still breathe fire in this form. Just thought you should know.”
Elliot’s eyes grew wide, and for once he looked at Jake with honest curiosity. “You breathe fire?”
A small smile pulled on Jake’s lips, as if he hadn’t just declared he would be fine with turning into a gargoyle forever if it benefitted the club. “Yeah. I’m working on this trick now, where I blow it on my fingers and light a cigarette off them.”
Joker snorted. “There we go, good old Jake.”
Vars slid his arm off Jake’s shoulders and leaned back, physically unable to participate in the playful mood that suddenly overtook the somberness of the situation. The heat of the flames radiated to his cheeks, and he turned his face away, dull and isolated in a room full of people, who treated Jake’s issue—a matter of life and death—as something to joke about.
Knight even lit himself a cigarette off Jake’s fingers, and Vars had to count to ten in his mind to not burst into flames with fury himself.
The meeting eventually drew to a close, but Vars wouldn’t be in the mood for any kind of celebrations—even those in his honor—until he got what he needed off his chest, so he discreetly grabbed Jake’s elbow as soon as they all left the meeting room.
Jake winced when Vars dug his fingers into his flesh, maybe a bit too hard, but he didn’t protest and followed Vars’s lead for the endless walk through empty corridors.
Every step was like walking down a path of burning coals. Fire licked the insides of Vars’s throat, his joints stiff as the heat slowly tightened his muscles, reducing his gait to a stiff march. He was about to burn alive, but it seemed that even that couldn’t possibly convince Jake to let go of stupid fantasies of self-sacrifice.
He couldn’t think straight.
He’d only now found Jake, a boy who would never grow old, a boy with whom Vars could plan a future because they were in the same boat. How was he to lose this over Jake’s stupid pride? His life was not a throwaway, no matter if he chose to live it at Vars’s side or not.
“Where are we going?” Jake groaned in the end after minutes of silence.
Vars came to a standstill and let go of him. “I don’t know. Is that room still ours, or do you want to live alone now that you’re your own man and can make all the stupid decisions in the world without consulting me?”
Jake groaned and crossed his arms on his chest without looking at Vars. “Of course it’s still ours. But the club is my whole life. They really are my family. It’s not stupid to want to protect them.”
Vars smashed his fist against the wall. His knuckles and wrist screamed in pain, sending vibrations all the way to his shoulder. “Am I not your family then? You said you want to be mine. It was just yesterday, and now you’re willing to throw away our future together like this? Even Gray told you it’s wrong!”
Jake shook his head, still staring at his shoes. “I’m not ‘willing’. But if push comes to shove, I can’t have a future with you over the dead bodies of our friends!”
Vars grabbed Jake’s chin and forced it up. “Yes you can. You let me turn your ass black and blue. You said you will obey me and trust my judgment. You do not get to turn your back on that, understood? What I say, goes, and this one is not negotiable.”
For a while Jake was stunned into silence. “Y-yes, sir.”
Vars swallowed, his entire body turning numb from the sense of wrongness of what he’d just said. He wasn’t this kind of man. He wanted someone to follow him willingly, not out of obligation, or worse—fear. Yet who could protect Jake from his sense of duty if not Vars? The boy wanted to do well, Vars understood that much, but seeing him place his own head on the chopping block like this in an act of stupid bravado was tearing Vars apart from the inside.