When Gray tried to join Mike, his vision blurry from the tears, something kept him in place. He moved his legs, but like in a bad dream, he couldn’t even walk an inch.
What was it that kept him immobile?
Mike’s face paled, suddenly devoid of any remnants of a smile. “You have a knife. Do not let him stop you,” he said softly, and Gray’s fingers immediately curled around the grip. But just as that happened, his brain must have lost some of the fog that had been keeping it confused.
Him?
Who?
Who?!
A voice as warm as the touch around his chest spoke time and time again, and the kiss to Gray’s ear felt as familiar as the pale face in front of him. “It’s not your fault, it’s not.”
“Only that it is, right?” Mike said. “You didn’t come with me, you slept through my death, and you didn’t have the guts to join me.”
It finally hit Gray.
He let go of the knife, and leaned into the warmth behind him. Mike would have never said any of that. This wasn’t Mike, and it wasn’t even his ghost. Even in death, Mike would have held Gray close and told him not to worry. Mike had been that way. He’d have preferred to take the blame for anything himself than expose Gray to consequences.
This was just a cruel illusion.
Breathless, Gray clung to the firm chest that slowly materialized next to him, along with the worry on Shadow’s face, and the warmth in his eyes.
There were so many things Gray wanted to live for. He needed to snap out of this trance.
“It’s not,” he whispered, suddenly enlightened. “I’m sorry I chose to stay home, but it was not my fault.”
“How about now?” Mike leaned into the open window. “Will you just stand there and watch me fall?”
But Shadow appeared more solid than ever, so real in contrast to the ghastly illusion. “Stay here, stay with me. We can leave if you need to, but you told me yourself. Mike was in an accident. You had nothing to do with his death.”
Gray shuddered and hugged Shadow, slowly getting up with his aid. With the icy water gone within a blink, everything he touched was so wonderfully material. “Y-you don’t have to fall,” he said to Mike, even though looking at the battered body of his brother caused him such endless pain, regardless whether it was real or not.
Mike sat on the window sill, and despite everything that happened, Gray’s first thought was to pull him back in.
“If you abandon me now, you will never even dream of me again,” the illusion threatened, but Shadow was there to hug Gray.
Warm and smelling like matches thrown into a campfire, Shadow was the only other living being in the building, and ‘Mike’s’ threats were empty.
Shadow nuzzled Gray’s head. “The real Mike will always stay with you.”
Gray took a deep breath and met the gaze of the illusory Mike, who crouched on the windowsill, facing them with blood once again rolling down his chin. He gave a choked sound and tilted back, reaching for Gray’s help.
Everything inside Gray itched to run and grab Mike’s hands, but Shadow was there to ground him. Still, even though Gray realized he’d been cheated, the sight of Mike dropping was now pasted to the backs of his eyelids. He turned in Shadow’s arms and buried his face in his warm chest. “Is it over?” he whispered.
“I think so,” Shadow said, stroking his back in the gentlest manner. “Please, Gray, tell me that you understand it was never your fault.” Time and time again, Shadow kissed Gray’s temple, standing there like the most tender rock. Warm, soft with moss, and always there for Gray to lean on.
Gray shut his eyes and nodded, hugging his lover back. Exhaustion flowed through him, but despite having to face Mike’s horrific injuries once more, he felt cleansed from the inside out. “He would have never blamed me. Never.”
Around them, there wasn’t even a trace of the ice cold water.
Gray stepped away but didn’t let go of Shadow’s hand. “Lead me to the ruby.”
Shadow nodded and pulled Gray into the corridor, which at this point was so dark Gray switched on the flashlight as they continued all the way down the passage, to the only door that was shut.
When Gray pressed on the handle, and it wouldn’t budge, he became certain he’d found what they were looking for. Shadow had no issue dismantling the basic lock, and they stepped into the dusty space preserved in the state it had been left in years back.
The light brown carpet was faded close to the windows, but as Gray moved his flashlight over the stripy wallpaper and an open closet full of neatly folded clothes, the illusion of a moment frozen in time became complete. There was even an outfit hung on a chair.