Gray's Shadow (Kings of Hell MC 4)

Gray clenched his teeth. He didn’t enjoy this kind of stuff on his best days, but tonight—the wantonness going on around him felt like a punch in the gut. Was this what he was to sacrifice his other half for? So that people could still make questionable choices?

Elliot laughed out loud right behind Gray. “If she loved you, she’ll still love you with no hands, man, chill out.”

Shadow turned his head toward them. “Gray doesn’t have an arm, and I love him so much.”

Gray looked up at him, and for once, he smiled despite all the gloom inside him. Letting go of Shadow’s hand, he leaned in and rested his arm across his back as they entered the common room. All their friends were already present, celebrating with the best money could buy at the local supermarket, but Gray’s eyes were instantly drawn to a large red chair where Magpie sat at Beast’s side like the king’s consort.

Beast got up with a big smile of the kind Gray hadn’t seen him sport often. “Finally! Time to relax, I bet you’re all pumped out after the ride.”

He maneuvered between the guests and greeted Gray with an unusually long hug that confirmed that Beast had found out all of the uncomfortable details from Knight. He even gave Shadow a pat on the back, as if he considered him a part of their tribe.

Knight waved Beast off and curled his hands into a tube, yelling Maureen’s name.

It was as if Shadow wasn’t about to die in a few weeks. As if no one noticed the crack in Gray’s chest. Maybe they wanted to let him deal with it on his own, since he tended to reject expressions of sympathy, but wasn’t the celebratory mood an insult to his pain? Did no one consider this?

“Look, look, there she is!” Elliot said with a big grin, pointing to the other side of the room.

Laurent joined them so fast he almost knocked into Beast. “Tell us what’s happening.”

Gray doubted anyone beyond their small circle could hear what was being said. This cacophony of sensations was the last thing he wanted to experience right now, but Shadow was his rock, a warm presence that would remain strong in moments when he couldn’t, though even he seemed lost in the crowd.

Magpie had spotted them from his mock-throne and waved with a small smile, as if he weren’t the one who offered Gray the lousy replacement for the Pigeon Heart.

The music went quieter, to make room for Knight and Elliot reporting on the invisible meeting between ghosts. The live audience was too drunk to care whether it was real or not, and their laughter made the bubble around Gray and Shadow all the less penetrable.

He practically yelped when a warm hand squeezed around his shoulder, but it was only Beast, who leaned closer to keep his voice low.

“Knight told me what happened. I’m sorry, brother,” he said, watching Gray with a somber expression.

Gray swallowed his anger and pulled Shadow closer, possessively placing his hand on his hip. “We’ll think of something.”

Shadow smiled, but the expression wasn’t as wide and cheerful as usual. Gray wanted to take him to bed and cuddle until they both felt better. “There’s still weeks of time.”

“We’ll talk more tomorrow and discuss options.” Beast nodded and patted Gray’s back once more before joining Laurent, who invited him closer with an impatient gesture.

Shadow shifted his weight. “Can we go?”

Gray smiled at him. “I want peace. Let’s go,” he said, relieved that the request hadn’t come from him. He still made sure to greet everyone gathered with a look at least, but as they walked off together, his agitation was once again reduced to a numb sensation sitting on his chest like a parasite.

Neither of them said anything as they trudged the empty corridors all the way to the skywalk leading to their small apartment. Last time they’d been there together, their intimacy had still been limited to cuddles.

That time now seemed like light years away.

Gray put in the code and opened the door, surprised by the chill coming from inside. Had he switched off the heating before they left? It didn’t matter when the door shut, because Shadow pulled him into his arms, rubbing his stubbly chin against Gray’s cheek.

They stood in the dark, with the distant sound of the party still in full swing. The only ones with something to mourn.

“Bath?” Gray whispered.

“You do know I love a hot bath.” Shadow’s lips ghosted over Gray’s skin, and the gentle touch alone was enough to make his heart beat faster.

Gray exhaled and unzipped Shadow’s jacket before pushing it off his arms. In the dark, other senses gained importance, and his lover’s scent—homely and masculine—was enough to make Gray’s head spin.

“I don’t want any distractions. I want to be myself tonight, and I can only be that with you.”