Beast burst out of the vehicle as if he couldn’t stand the dense atmosphere inside it either. His body language was so combative Laurent would have feared him if he didn’t know better. “Laurent, wake up! We are facing the end of the world, and you’re wondering what a kid who might not even hatch should call us? You shouldn’t have forced me into this!”
Laurent stared at Beast over the hood of the car, frozen like Lot’s wife after she’d looked at the destruction of Sodom. He could practically feel salt on his lips. “What is your meaning?”
Beast scoffed. “Isn’t it obvious? Have you seen Nick lately? That’s the kind of danger we’re up against! And what happened to him is nothing in comparison to what’s coming for all of us,” he said with a face so twisted that for once he did remind Laurent of a demon.
Laurent frowned. “So we should stop living even though these could be the last months of our lives? When the ground underneath your feet opens, do you want to look back on your life and realize that you died long before?”
Beast spread his arms. “I’d have spent those months with you. And now… you brought this child into our lives without asking me beforehand. Just put me on the spot. We’ve been together for less than a year. I haven’t even considered any of this.”
Laurent squinted, unsure if he was hearing this right. “You are thirty-three years old and you haven’t thought whether you want a child or not?” He opened the back of the car, suddenly desperate to feel Marcel’s weight in his arms.
“No! I never felt like I wanted to have kids. Maybe you should have actually talked to me about it instead of making all those major decisions on your own. You even named him without asking for my opinion!”
Logically, Laurent understood most of what Beast was saying, but all he could hear was that Beast didn’t want a family with him. That he didn’t care for the son they had created together, and just went along with it for… for what?
Laurent unbuckled the new backpack, and pulled it out of the car. Shattered on the inside, he was struggling with pain that prevented him from thinking clearly. “You should have said so! Stated it plainly in front of Magpie!”
Beast’s face turned into a toothy mask. “I tried, but then you said it’s the only chance… and I wanted to make you happy. I didn’t have time to think it through at all!”
The ache in Laurent’s heart was so much more intense than he could have ever expected. He wanted a son. He’d lost touch with his family so many years ago, after they’d given him away. And the man who’d taken him under his wing? No matter what Mr. Barnave had sometimes said, he’d never treated Laurent like his flesh and blood. Was it that strange to want a connection that ran deeper than the company of his husband and friends?
“This is not a topic up for discussion,” Laurent said through clenched teeth. “Marcel is staying with me, even if I have to raise him myself. You think me incapable? Just you watch me! And as I will raise our son the best I can, feel free to party and indulge in debauchery until you’re old and gray!”
Beast’s features faltered. “What? Laurent, what the hell are you talking about? This is ridiculous.”
“It is not! You just told me you don’t want our child!” Laurent blinked back the memories of his father signing a contract with Mr. Barnave and selling him. Times had been tough, but no father should do such a thing to their child.
Beast snarled. “So that’s how it is? I’m less important to you than a baby you haven’t even seen yet?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. But how could I expect otherwise if you don’t understand how it feels to want to be a father.” Laurent shook his head and fastened the backpack with an extra strap over his chest. “I pity you.” He turned around and wouldn’t look back to avoid Beast seeing the tears flooding his eyes.
He half-expected to hear Beast follow him, but the clever retorts or refusals to accept an apology gradually dispersed from his head when it became clear the distance between Laurent and his husband grew with each step he took. There were so many things he could have said to him in response to such hurtful words, but each and every one of them had tapered edges. Each one was useless in the face of Beast’s betrayal.
For a moment, he believed that the cry of a baby was the product of his wounded imagination, but when he stood in the middle of a corridor and listened, he knew the sound was real.