“H-how do you know?”
The question itself was beyond disgusting. “We put traffickers six feet under, not work with them. Out of everyone, you’re the only one who keeps mentioning trades, because you have no skills to help yourself. You’re like a mouse in a house full of cats, and you hope that if you play nicely, a couple of those cats will choose to keep you as their pet.” Drake slid his fingers into the white hair and pushed Clover’s head down. “Well guess what? Once Tank finds out about this little escapade of yours, he’ll finally see you for what you are, and we’ll drop you off at the nearest gas station like we should have weeks ago.”
Clover didn’t need to know that playing with little white mice was exactly what Drake wanted to do.
“How am I supposed to know who to trust?” Clover sobbed, not even trying to wiggle free from under Drake anymore. “I’m scared, okay? I thought Jerry was my friend, and he sold me off to Riggs like it was nothing. Someone wants me for my looks, and I have no way to hide. You don’t understand what I’ve been through!”
The forest air felt sour in Drake’s lungs, and he twisted his hand in Clover’s hair, struggling for breath after getting punched in the gut by thoughtless words.
“No. It’s you who doesn’t know anything.”
It had been years, but there were nights when Drake’s past loomed dangerously close, hiding under the bed and reaching out for him with hands so strong he could do nothing but stay still. He lifted himself up and spun the little bastard around, digging his fingertips into his jaw hard enough to make his point. “You’ve led a life of freedom until now. Maybe not a happy one, but still free. You’ve only been captured for a day, and nobody laid a hand on you. Meanwhile, people, even little children go through that underground meat grinder every single day. They’re never seen again, because there are ways to make them disappear forever, okay?
“So you were afraid that someone’s gonna trap you? Use you however they wanted? One person? Many people? Well, it didn’t happen. You were plucked into safety without having to even move your little finger,” Drake shouted before letting go of Clover when his piercing blue gaze wouldn’t turn away and met Drake’s.
“You know nothing. And you’re selfish. You didn’t even hesitate and ran from the people who saved you when you got the chance,” Drake whispered, looking into the trees as he struggled for breath. Some of his memories were vague, almost as if his brain didn’t want to keep them on record, but that made moments like this, when he tried to reach in only to meet a wall, more terrifying.
And he shouldn’t be terrified, since it was already over. It had ended years ago, yet here he was, furious that no one had saved him. That even when Tank had reached out with a helping hand, he didn’t just sweep Drake off his feet and hand him a cup of cocoa. By the time they’d met, the worst had been behind Drake. But where Tank protected Clover from the world, cushioned him and coddled, for Drake he’d had a gun and lessons in how to save himself.
And Drake wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, so why was he so fucking angry with the stupid boy who had no idea how lucky he was?
Drake sat on Clover’s thighs, so when the boy sat up, they got dangerously close even before he pressed his cheek to Drake’s chest.
“I’m sorry.”
This was so typical. “Your puppy eyes won’t work on me, kid. Real life has consequences. Sometimes, your choices are limited, and you have to play the hand you’ve been dealt or you might as well shoot yourself.”
Clover let out a deep exhale, his face still pressed all too close to Drake’s furiously beating heart. Drake hated himself for not being able to kick the boy to the curb, because if there was an order for him, someone would fulfill it sooner or later. At the rate at which Clover kept making stupid choices, it would be the former.
“And all I’ve got in my hand is my looks,” Clover whispered, his eyes welling up. “I wish I was the cat. I guess you’re the only one who sees how useless I am. Maybe I should just give up and let things take their course. I’ve put you all through so much trouble already, and Tank’s been nothing but kind to me.” The tears dripping down Clover’s cheeks only infuriated Drake.
“For fuck’s sake, get a grip. What, you’re not gonna defend yourself? You’re not gonna plead or beg me to reconsider?” Drake growled, grabbing Clover’s head in both hands. A cold river traveled throughout his body when he remembered the worst of times, but even then, whatever happened, he’d always had hope. He would have never given up. “Someone wants you as their pet. Do you even understand what that means? They will train you for obedience, and you’re shit at that, so it will hurt. They will rape and degrade you. You have no idea of the kind of suffering a human body can endure before it breaks. If you choose that path, you will think back to this moment and regret it one day.”