“Let’s go find Tommy,” he muttered, slipping his hand out of Ned’s grasp.
Chapter 21
Cole hadn’t seen such a multitude of people since attending a bare-knuckle boxing event in New York City, but the folk who chose to spend their Saturday evening at Jan Dudek’s show weren’t quite the same crowd. Sure, plenty of boozed-up men walked around, but also women, and children. He’d even spotted a young couple pushing a wheeled chair so an elderly relative of theirs could enjoy a change of pace and see the circus before it started packing up tomorrow.
Midnight wasn’t that far off, but stragglers still gravitated in the alleys, buying snacks, playing games, and paying extra for special attractions, such as Parita’s Cleopatra act.
Then again, what was real in the circus other than the daily grind of everyone involved?
Cole enjoyed her show for aesthetic reasons, but men got so rowdy in Parita’s presence Roger needed to stand by the stage at all times, and had a bell to call for help. It was a mystery how he could stand all the lecherous eyes gliding across his wife’s body every single night when Cole found someone ogling a naked photograph of Ned unbearable.
Ned had earned Archibald’s attention during the monkey’s calculus show, and now that the grounds were closing down, the little imp wouldn’t leave his shoulder, greedily accepting the morsels of food fed to him. Tommy stayed at Ned’s side as well and had convinced him to buy candy with Cole’s money.
Yet more pennies left Ned’s pocket when he agreed to participate in a horseshoe-throwing game to win a wooden horse for the boy, but Cole didn’t scold him. He had more than enough money still hidden inside his saddle, and watching them enjoy themselves brought him unexpected pleasure. In the colorful lights bouncing off glass lanterns, the man, the boy, and their dog presented a picture of a future Cole could have if Ned wasn’t an unpredictable man who threw mementos into fire and always wanted more of Cole’s heart. Just tonight though, Cole imagined visiting a circus like this and being able to hold Ned’s hand as if they were sweethearts.
But those were silly dreams that could never come to life, so he focused on chatting with Tommy, who wouldn’t stop signing about the feats of the acrobats. He also pointed out that were he a magician, like Jan, he’d have pulled money out of his hat instead of rabbits, and lived in a big house by the ocean. So young and already seeing through horseshit. Maybe he wouldn’t do too badly in the future?
Dog followed them everywhere. He was as much Tommy’s pet by now as he was Ned’s. When a woman stopped by to stroke the mutt’s head and inquire about the missing leg, jealousy rose in Cole’s throat, because he could see what she really wanted was an excuse to talk to Ned. At least Ned had no interest in women to the point of never bedding even one. Then again, he could have lied about that. He could have lied about every single thing, and Cole had no way to find out the truth.
That was the problem with people. Unless someone was as obvious in their lies as Gavin, they might present fantasies as fact without anyone finding out until it was too late. One might have argued that the fake identity Parita assumed when she claimed to have been born in an Egyptian caravan was as harmless as Terje’s stories of growing up among tigers in Africa rather than in the capital of Norway, but the fact that such ridiculous lies were taken for fact was yet more proof that no one should be trusted.
All people lied to present themselves as someone they weren’t. Cole himself had taken up the act of an honest man and might have settled down with a wife somewhere, if that were what he wanted. And if he were careful enough, no one would have ever found out what he’d done in the past, or how rotten his soul was.
They were all strangers to each other, even if they fucked or shared bonds acknowledged by the state, church, and community.
When Tommy expressed a desire for popcorn, improvising when Cole didn’t quite understand his signing, they gravitated toward the cart close by, and the boy gave a loud whistle to make Dog follow. The animal wagged its tail as if it didn’t mind the collective stink of the crowd. Dense perfume mixed with the odor of sweat, unwashed clothes, and food, choked Cole as he approached Ned, almost annoyed that the little boy in their care got to hold Ned’s hand without repercussions. It reminded him of his very first visit to a sideshow. Butcher Tom had carried him on his shoulders almost the entire time, got him raisins, and at the closing of the night even took Cole to see some naked ladies. They would not be doing any of that tonight.