Ned groaned. “No. I’m so oblivious. I just thought I was immune to feminine charms. Broken.”
Cole smiled at him and rubbed his hand against the stubble growing on Ned’s cheek. “My poor Neddie, always thinking of himself so harshly,” Cole said and rose, stepping out of the tub.
Ned wished he’d bought extra candles for the room because the view was so exquisite he was close to drooling. Cole’s flesh shone in their yellow glow, the droplets of water falling off him like morning dew. “Maybe it’s for the better. You got to be my first.”
Cole returned with a soap dish, bowl, and brush provided by the hotel, but in his other hand he had the straight razor that used to belong to Ned’s father. “I should have talked to a working girl before I made my attempt. I’m still embarrassed,” he confessed, settling down between Ned’s thighs once more.
Now that the stress of the deed was over, leaving only bliss, Ned could laugh about it. “You had good intentions.”
“I was too proud to ask for help,” Cole mused and worked the soap into lather, which he then applied to Ned’s cheeks.
“We’ll work things out together in the future. And I want to give you that experience, but if you decide you don’t want it, I need you to know that’s all right too,” he said softly, because while he was curious how it would feel to sink into Cole’s body, he’d never want to achieve that at the cost of his man’s happiness.
Cole swallowed, his hand freezing with the razor open. He met Ned’s eyes and stayed still, chewing on what he’d been told. “I might not deserve you, but I’ll keep you all the same,” he confessed and carefully slid the razor against skin. There would be no conversation during the shaving, since Ned liked his neck whole, so he took his time admiring Cole’s hawk-like profile and the pink tongue he kept in the corner of his mouth when trying to focus.
“I’ve had my suspicions but only got certain when I met this fellow. He briefly rode with us, and I could sense him watching me like other men didn’t. We got drunk once, and I knew the moment I kissed him that it was what I wanted.”
Ned couldn’t speak but raised his eyebrows in a silent demand for more information.
Cole held his gaze, his lips twitching with humor. “Jealous?” He pulled the razor away once he was done with the shave.
“What can I say? I might take a cock like none other, but my blood is as red as they come.”
“You’re prettier than him, so no need to worry,” Cole teased and pressed his lips to warm, newly-shaved skin.
Pride bloomed in Ned, and he sat up straighter. “And it didn’t go any further with him? You said something about that once.”
Cole chuckled and shook his head, placing the razor on a small table by the tub. “Just a kiss, Neddie. You’re my first too.”
Ned leaned in and slid his fingers over Cole’s stubbly cheeks. “And only.”
Cole’s lashes fluttered, dark against his cheeks. “Why would I leave someone so dashing?”
“You’d be a madman.” Ned grinned, but finally pulled away, because the water was getting too cool for his liking. He hadn’t felt this clean in weeks though, so this extravagant bath had been worth every dime. “I can already see us in California, in a house by the ocean, a few horses, a little gun shop…”
Cole grinned, gathering some water in his hand to drizzle it down Ned’s nipple. “Nobody would know who we were. A fresh start.”
With his heart pounding, Ned turned to Cole and scooted down by the tub. “Let’s do that. Let’s just go.”
The idea of shedding the heavy armor of lies and vengeance he’d built around himself was so sweet he could barely think of anything else. He could do that. Leave his childhood horrors in the mountains, forget the Gotham Boys ever existed, take this beautiful man who cared for him more than anyone in the world, and never look back. Choose himself over long gone family who’d gain nothing from his actions.
Cole pulled away, his expression somber. Ned knew the answer before Cole opened his mouth.
“No… Neddie, now’s not the time yet. Can’t just leave Tom and the others behind. I owe them my loyalty.”
“They pushed us away. We don’t even know if we have a place there anymore.” The cleaver inked into Ned’s forearm seemed to slice into the skin, like a reminder that he wasn’t free anymore.
Cole swallowed, lowering his head as if the truth behind Ned’s words cut straight into his heart. “We should show them loyalty still means something to us.”
Ned turned away to get dressed, because there was no point in pondering this subject any further when Cole so clearly didn’t want to consider the possibility of leaving his mentor behind. It struck him that the damn tattoo, which for him had been a painful means to an end was much more to Cole, because he considered himself one of them—a fact Ned had conveniently forgotten.