Chapter 14 - Emil
The forest was magical tonight. It could be the liquor Emil had earlier, but his blood buzzed, as if he might rise off the ground at any second and join the fireflies. They hadn’t left the party that far behind, but the uneven terrain, with gentle slopes and walls of bush blocked out any signs of civilization.
The warm glow of the torch shone through the lattice of branches all the way to the tree tops, turning the narrow path into a gothic cathedral with endless naves and a vaulted ceiling decorated with the most exquisite gold leaf. And as they walked, pretending to search for a treasure that couldn’t exist, Emil could practically hear Adam’s heartbeat.
Tension was thick in the crisp air, but Emil didn’t dare say a word, as if the priest wasn’t made of flesh but of stained glass and might crumble at a gentle push. He wasn’t sure whether Adam was aware what searching for the fern flower together implied for straight couples, but he was glad for the company nevertheless, even if it had been brought on by pity. Throughout his adult life, moments of kindness had been too few and far between for him to question Adam’s reasons.
The forest was dense enough that following the path seemed like the best way to traverse a large distance fast, but if they wanted to find anything, even just a peaceful spot to chat while all the straights tumbled in the moss closer to the village, they would soon need to leave the beaten track behind. Then again, for Emil this outing was just an excuse to be around Adam, even if nothing intimate would happen.
The flames cast a soothing glow on Adam’s face and shone through his hair, turning it into gold thread. He looked innocent, sweet, like someone beyond the touch of evil. Emil was the only one who knew the truth, and despite being unable to have Adam the way he wanted to, the bond of a shared secret was real.
“I love the scent here,” Adam broke the silence at last. “No park in Warsaw—no place I’ve been to, really—smells this way. There’s something primal in this forest.”
Emil laughed. “It will get primal really fast if we meet a herd of European bison.”
Adam squinted, and his cheeks dipped slightly when he smiled. “Now you’re just trying to scare me. I’ve been here for over a month and haven't seen any.”
“Have you actually left the main footpaths in the forest?”
“Fair point.”
Emil shook his head. “I’m just messing with you. They’re not exactly dangerous unless you bother them. You know, unlike the wolves and brown bears. But don’t worry, I can protect you, city boy,” he said and winked at Adam, pushing back his damp hair.
Adam took a deep breath. “I don’t think I’ve ever gone off the path in the forest. They always tell you not to do that, but I suppose you know those woods like they’re your own backyard.”
The conversation must have relaxed him, because he now followed Emil with more confidence, his gaze piercing the darkness, like an arrow shot between the trees and reaching the most secretive of spaces that no human ever stepped into.
There was only so much self-control Emil had. He grabbed Adam’s hand and pulled him into a gap between dense juniper bushes. “About time to go off the beaten path then.”
The warm fingers twitched in his hand, and for a scary moment Emil feared Adam would pull away, but they squeezed back instead as the two of them stepped across a field of whortleberry plants, sinking their feet in its dark green waves.
“This flower… does it actually exist, or is it all a legend?”
Emil smirked and traversed the small clearing, making note of the direction, so he could guide them back later. Though, while there wasn’t a clear path in sight, some of the branches ahead had been trimmed for ease of passage, and he headed that way, curious of what they might find. Because if not the legendary flower, then maybe Koterski’s secret marijuana field. That man had to be earning money for the house he was building somewhere, because the forest ranger job definitely didn’t pay enough to cover the fancy-shmancy stonework in his driveway.
“To be perfectly honest, I’ve never found a fern flower and no one else has ever come back with one, even though everyone knows someone who knows someone who saw it. It’s a bit of a myth, but I wanted to get away from it all, and I always loved this part of Kupala Night. There’s something magical about walking through the woods tonight.” Emil pointed at Adam’s face. “Don’t laugh at me. I’m only a sap when it’s appropriate.”
Adam’s hand curled around Emil’s as they continued past some evergreen bushes, careful not to trample the small plants on the way, and while Emil wouldn’t allow hope into his heart anymore, he had every intention of enjoying this moment for what it was. An offering of friendship, even if the sparks that kept buzzing between their bodies were to never turn into fireworks again.