He no longer saw light at the end of the dark tunnel of his life, but he would still leave. If he was destined for a life of misery, he would at least suffer out of Dybukowo. Away from the man who had broken him. The tragedies Emil had to endure had bent his will, but it was Adam’s mistrust and accusations that had finally proven to be unbearable.
Cold, wet clothes clung to Emil’s body as he continued down the side of the road while the thunder rumbled above. The naked trees danced, and when lightning bolts tore through the sky, setting the clouds alight, Emil looked up, letting the raindrops sink into his face and wash off the sorrow he hadn’t been able to express in front of Adam.
He couldn’t get any wetter at this point, so there was no point in seeking shelter. He would endure this night like he’d endured so many others, but his suffering meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. Nothing awaited him out of Dybukowo either. All he knew was that he loathed the idea of staying where people pitied or despised him. Of staying where his heart had broken into so many pieces he was sure he’d never be able to put it back together.
There was only one asphalt road leading out of the valley. It wound between the picturesque hills before descending into the nearby village of Palki, and while rain toyed with Emil’s senses, he did have the vague idea he was getting closer to the narrow mouth between the hills. He tried to ignore the milky fog rolling down the slopes until it seemed nearby trees and bushes emerged from foam. But once he’d leave the natural gateway behind, the expanse of the wave-like hills would take him someplace where nobody held any prejudice against him. He wouldn’t be happy but maybe, at least, free.
The road was a dark streak that drowned in nothingness just a few paces ahead, so Emil strayed to the side, riding Jinx along the forest expanse. Crows still followed him, and as their caws grew in volume high above, he wondered if they’d even let him leave, or if they were intent on picking at his flesh like they had on Mrs. Zofia’s or Piotr’s.
His heart pounded faster as the buzz of the rain gained intensity. He’d never been one to fear darkness, but he hadn’t believed in magic either. Who knew what really hid deep in the night, so far away from any lights? For a while, the chance to discover something special at Adam’s side had seemed real, but he’d been tossed away, just like the other things Adam wanted to forget.
He thought back to the pretty blue eyes staring back at him with so much intensity as they fucked, and couldn’t help the sorrow wrapping around his chest and squeezing so hard breathing became impossible. He would never love anyone the way he loved Adam, and life would torture him with it forever.
There had been no shortage of romantic disappointments in his past. Those who left, those who never treated him seriously, those who rejected him because he didn’t fit into their lifestyle, but none of those breakups hurt quite as much as the way Adam had played him.
After hooking him with a mixture of vulnerability and curiosity Emil had found endearing, Adam had had him at his beck and call, and Emil, like the fool he was, always returned to Adam’s side, no matter how unfairly he’d been treated. He’d been a dog to a confusing master, who’d offer him praise and a place to curl up at his feet, just to throw him out into the rain.
At his age, he should have learned to have more dignity, but it was becoming painfully clear now that on an emotional level he’d remained that stupid teenager who’d fallen in love with a tourist and imagined the guy would change all his life plans for him. So that didn’t happen.
He was so deep in the dark well of his thoughts, only the deafening honking ahead managed to snap him out of it. A truck headed straight at him, emerging out of the rain and fog like a ghost ship in the middle of a storm. Emil barely had the chance to gasp as he trusted his instincts and forced his frightened horse into the bushes at the side of the road.
Jinx’s entire body tensed when his hindquarters dipped, and he reared so rapidly Emil’s world spun around. The white truck rushed past them, and the gust of wind it sent their way was the last push needed to shove Emil out of the saddle.
He gave a choked cry, swallowing the foggy air as he made a somersault before dropping into a cushion full of spikes. The bush had needles that pierced his damp clothes and clawed their way along his flesh, but as he tried to make himself stand up, one of his feet slipped, and he dropped face first into a puddle. He chose the moment of impact to voice his shock, and his teeth closed on mud.