Gunner pushed off his clothes while meeting Caspian’s gaze. He could relate to that. He hated the need to voice those embarrassing thoughts, but three fucks in, they were way past being strangers. “I think I know what you mean. I never even considered searching for guys, ‘cause I feel like there’s all these expectations when you look a certain way. I live where I live, and… it was just easier not to face the reality of who I am.”
He’d never shared that with anyone. Hell, until today, he’d never told anyone he was gay, but if there was one person he didn’t need to pretend for, it was the man standing in front of him.
Caspian went still and rubbed his massive chest. “Yeah, but… you could have gone to another town. You’re so handsome any gay guy would have wanted you. And I was just this… shrimp,” he said with a twist to his lips, using the same comparison that had been thrown against him last night.
Gunner stepped closer over the cold tiles and pushed Caspian’s T-shirt off him, then ran his fingers over the tattooed chest. Skulls above the collar bones, barbed wire becoming a snake with a large knife stabbing its head, its long body winding all the way around the torso as if it originated in the navel. Spiders on a web adorned his forearms along with a scorpion reaching onto one of his hands. Insects and reptiles. Poison and death. All saying do not approach. The ink had been his armor, a deterrent to make him appear more threatening than he was. But the story told by the designs was only skin-deep and kept Gunner’s secrets in the dark.
“It’s a nice, muscular body, but won’t attract people who want to pick me up and roll me over. You’ve fucked me enough times to know what I like. Those muscles come with expectations. This?” Gunner looked down his new frame and gently stroked the flat chest with smooth skin and little definition. “This is perfect for me. Just not for what you wanted.”
Caspian’s nostrils flared, and he shrugged, visibly uncomfortable. He cleared his throat, took off his remaining clothing, and headed for the showers. Unbelievable. Was he running from this conversation after starting it himself?
Gunner rushed after him, and since there wasn’t a soul around, he didn’t have qualms about pouncing on Caspian. He grabbed his shoulders and pulled himself up on Caspian’s back, while wrapping his short legs around Caspian’s waist for stability.
He lowered his voice to a rasp, imitating Caspian. “Do not walk away from me. Is that clear?”
Caspian looked back, his arms spread for balance. Oh, he was so firm to the touch!
“Sorry. It’s just embarrassing,” he said and continued toward the row of identical showers that had fixed showerheads and brown tiles to hide dirt for as long as possible. Grabbing Gunner’s knees helped him carry the additional weight with more comfort.
Gunner laughed, stupidly exhilarated. He hadn’t piggybacked on anyone since he was a kid, instead always being expected to give rides. Clinging to the fragrant body, he kissed the side of Caspian’s neck. Just because he could. He’d been hiding those secret needs for so long, but Caspian allowed him to spread his wings and fucked him until Gunner was happy like a teen who’d gotten his braces taken off.
“What’s embarrassing, is the rubber boy toy in your closet. Better tell me about the guys you’d fucked. Was my new ass virginal?” he teased.
“I’ve never done any anal,” Caspian muttered in a small voice and stepped on wet tiles, straight into a cloud of vapor scented like someone’s shower gel. There was also a hint of moldiness in the air, but the sandalwood notes hid its presence well enough.
Gunner kissed him on the back of the head. He was getting some seriously tense vibes from Caspian and was eager to soothe him. “I’ve only done it with this one girl a few years back, ‘cause I was curious, but fucking her just wasn’t what I wanted. And she was all like, ‘yeah, slam that big dick in, stud’, and that was a massive turn off for me. Barely kept it up really, so we’ve all got some skeletons in the closet.”
“You don’t mind? That I’m not experienced?” Caspian uttered and scooted down so Gunner could get off him.
Gunner jumped down and shrugged. “Not really, no. You, like… seem to know what you’re doing.” He couldn’t get over how amazing his old body looked from the perspective of someone much shorter. Gunner had always felt too big for any space he entered, but Caspian carried his form with a silent strength that was somehow both imposing and calming.
“I suppose I should be glad you’d worked up some stamina while you still had this body. It’s probably the only reason why I hadn’t come the moment I pushed into you the first time,” Caspian said, spreading his firm arms. He stopped with his mouth open and met Gunner’s gaze. “It was everything I ever wanted.”