Gunner got up and handed Noah the blanket. His brother had even brought him a T-shirt he could wear for now. “Let’s at least try to retrace your steps that night.”
“Will it count if she’s not with us?” Caspian uttered in a bland voice. “She appeared with her dog and talked to me, and we drank moonshine.”
Gunner spread his arms with despair filling his heart. “I don’t know. What else do we have left? Maybe if we at least found Dingo—do you know if he was in the trailer with her, Noah? And you, Cas, what else do you remember? All the details.”
Noah’s shoulders relaxed. “I saw him running around and whining while everything burned. He’s either still here or someone had taken him in”
“We should find the dog,” Caspian said, standing up somewhat shakily, as if he were in a daze.
Since it was safe, most of the residents had already gone back to their homes, so the three of them switched on the flashlight option in their phones and ventured out, determined to find Dingo. Noah managed to secure two jars of Madge’s moonshine from a neighbor who was particularly fond of it, and made them pay premium for the questionable drink, but it wasn’t the time to be stingy.
As they all wandered the trailer park, searching for a glimpse of orange fur, Caspian filled them in on everything that had happened on his last evening before the swap, including the panic attack outside the gym and Dingo constantly licking his hands while Madge fed him ‘shine. Gunner’s mind lagged at the brief mention of what caused Caspian’s distress in the first place, but then shame scratched his back bloody when he realized Noah would now find out about the horrible things he’d done to Caspian. His younger brother didn’t comment and just listened to the brief description of what happened in the locker room, but Gunner still cringed in silence.
Caspian spoke in a small voice, looking ahead as if he didn’t want to meet anyone’s eyes. “I don’t remember if I said it, but I definitely thought a lot about wanting to have your body. That no one would hurt me like that if I was your size.”
Gunner still didn’t see affection between men as something normal in public, but despite Noah’s presence, he slid his fingers between Caspian’s, because that cat was out of the bag. “I could never make up for any of it. I’m sorry.”
Caspian squeezed his hand, and as they faced the bushes on the edge of the trailer park, his warm fingers felt like the only thing anchoring Gunner to a world where he could become a better person.
“The longer I live in your skin, the more I grasp what you’ve been through,” Caspian whispered.
Gunner bit his lips and nodded quickly, but he didn’t want Caspian to understand. Born with a chip on his shoulder, he’d often thought that people like Caspian should try walking a mile in his shoes and fail at survival. But no one deserved a hard life just because the world as a whole wasn’t fair. Caspian was a good person, genuine, caring, patient, and Gunner wanted him to have the best life. Loving parents, a good job, and better self-esteem, now that he’d seen his body from a new perspective. He deserved a boyfriend who wasn’t a deadbeat loser.
Noah took a deep breath and moved his flashlight in a hurry. “Look. There he is.”
The white beam snuck under a nearby trailer and reflected off a pair of eyes, turning them yellow, but the dog stayed quiet, as if it were still in shock after running for his life and having to leave his mistress behind. Gunner kneeled and stuck his head under the floor of the home, reaching toward Dingo as his heart beat in desperation. He needed to guide Caspian back where he belonged, even if it left him with nothing.
“Come here, boy. Don’t be scared!”
Dingo made a quiet yelp and rested his orange head on his front paws, but when Gunner kept cooing, the dog started a slow, laborious crawl toward them.
Once Dingo was out, he whimpered and sat next to Gunner, licking his hands and face the moment Gunner settled his arms around the furry neck.
“I know, poor thing, I know. You’ll be okay, boy.” He looked up at Noah and Caspian, gently trying to pat the dog clean of the sand and dust he’d just dragged himself through. “Let’s try it. Drink some moonshine, let him lick you, and make the wish.”
Noah’s eyes glinted in the first rays of sunlight. “Right. I can make a wish too. I want to win the lottery.”
Gunner rolled his eyes. “Sure. Knock yourself out.”
Caspian stalled, staring at the dog as if reality hadn’t yet convinced him that going back to their own bodies was the only way forward. Their adventure had been fun while it lasted, but Caspian deserved more than Gunner’s wretched existence.