“I’ll work something out. Is Snowman in?”
“I’m not his mother,” she said and shut the window without saying goodbye.
Typical.
Gunner rubbed his face, adjusted his T-shirt to make it tidier, and walked around the building to find the office on the other side open.
Snowman looked up from behind his desk, as if some sixth sense told him he had a visitor. “Gunner! Long time no see,” he said and pulled a folder off a giant pile next to him.
“Hey, I came to let you know I wasn’t dodging you. It’s just that with the fire, and the… general situation… you know how it is sometimes.” He took a long drag of smoke, but the fire had reached the filter already. He really needed to quit. The habit was bad not only for his health but also his already-thin wallet.
Snowman stared at him and dropped the folder before swiping back the wispy hair covering the flushed skin at the top of his head. “Why? You missed me or something?”
Gunner put the cigarette out in Snowman’s overflowing ashtray and stuffed his hands into his pockets, ignoring the stale scent of the half-eaten burger resting on a plate by the edge of the desk. “My payment. I’ll get you something next week, okay?”
Snowman’s eyes narrowed, red as if he badly needed to see a doctor about pinkeye. “Are you fucking with me, Russo? You’ve been acting real strange lately.”
“No, I’m serious. I’m out of work, but I should be able to get some cash by the end of the week.” He spread his arms for emphasis, because his patience was running thin.
Snowman leaned back and pulled at the front of his sweaty shirt, peeling it from his skin. “Are you on crack again? You already sent a guy. The debt’s been cleared.”
Gunner stared at him with the confusion of a drowning man who’d just realized his feet touched ground. “What? Who?” He knew the answer the moment his lips uttered the question.
Snowman exhaled and poured himself some coffee from a glass jug with lots of ice cubes floating on the surface and chugged half of the mug in one go. “This small guy. Short. With pink shoes.”
They were lavender. Not that such details mattered when Caspian had taken the massive burden chaining Gunner to his circumstances off his shoulders.
Just like that, without asking for anything in return. Just because he could.
“S-so, we’re good?” Gunner asked, fighting the tremble in his voice.
Snowman sighed. “Don’t know what you did for that guy, but my lips are sealed. If you ever need more cash, my boss will gladly lend to you, since you’ve been so good about paying up this time.”
Wow, so his credit score with drug dealers was on the rise. All thanks to Caspian.
Gunner left the building in stunned silence.
Two years—that was how long he’d been saddled with this burden. He’d taken it on to help the only family he had left, but the interest was so high he lost hope of ever paying the whole sum off.
He couldn’t believe he was free. So his plans for the future were tentative at best, but he could actually breathe now, and reconsider his options.
His mind whirled with a thousand thoughts. His first impulse was to call Caspian and ask him about everything. From why he chose to pay off the debt, to why he kept the cute sneakers, but if Caspian didn’t bother to tell him about the money, maybe he didn’t want to keep in touch?
What if this was a way for Caspian to cut ties without feeling guilty about it? The closeness they’d experienced during their unusual relationship had been intense, but back in his own body, in his nice home, with his nice parents, and nice job, Caspian likely wanted to distance himself from that crazy period in his life. And from Gunner. Could it be that he no longer cared? After all the things they did with each other?
Gunner’s face flushed with heat at the memory of Caspian holding him by the ears as he face-fucked him.
But that had happened in a different life. A life within a dream that was over and would never cloud their minds again.
Gunner was now free to start his life over. Get an honest job. Move somewhere safer. Never have to see Todd’s fucking face.
But he didn’t know where to start. His life choices had always been about responding to other people’s actions, and now, faced with the freedom to forge whatever path suited him, he had no idea where to turn.
Caspian was so put-together in comparison. Thoughtful and smart, he was a man Gunner had learned to admire in their short time together. But while Gunner knew it would be best for them to stay apart, the Caspian-sized hole in his heart was there to stay. It might eventually stop bleeding, but the scars would forever be a reminder of the happiest time in Gunner’s life.