Karla shook her head. “I’d say I’m sorry, but you robbed me, so I think we’re even. If you do want to pursue this, here’s my card. Fate has bonded you for some reason, and this won’t just go away.”
Roach took the card, but then he noticed Gale’s eye’s open slightly, and the boy let out a moan, so he rushed to his side. “We’ll be in touch.”
He didn’t notice Karla leaving, but when he stood by Gale’s side and stroked his forehead, she was already gone, and Zane watched him from the corner of the room, mouth set, shoulders rigid as if he were preparing for a fight.
“Hey,” Roach whispered. “You’re okay, you’re at the hospital.” He pulled a chair over to sit closer, but Gale shut his eyes again. So he glanced up at Zane. “What’s your problem, huh?” he asked in a hushed voice.
Zane’s eyes darted away from him, as if he couldn’t stand looking at Roach, even though they’d hugged and teased one another less than twenty-four hours ago. “I’ve got no problems.”
Roach shook his head. “Yeah, sure. Then when are we gonna go ‘retrace our steps’ or whatever?”
Zane’s teeth pulled over his lower lip as he glanced out of the window. It was snowing again.
“Never.”
“If you think this means you’ll get to fuck me forever and tell strangers that’s all there is between us, you’ve got another thing coming.”
“I don’t need to fuck you at all.”
Roach bit his cheek hard, but then quickly stopped, realizing Zane would know how much his words hurt. He didn’t even feel like saying fine! just to have the last word. At least Gale was alive and Roach had something else to focus on than his own misery.
Chapter 20 – Zane
Roach slept on the floor each night following their return from the hospital, and every time Zane got to roll across the bed without meeting his warm, sturdy presence, it aggravated him just how much he missed the touch. Because he’d done the right thing in pushing Roach away. They’d been getting far too cozy, and the point of no return might have been closer than Zane had imagined.
But Zane still felt damn terrible about it.
Every time he considered saying something to Roach other than necessary communication like get your own toothpaste, he remembered how Roach had called him a leech, and everything inside him froze. Not that they saw much of each other, because Roach spent most of his free time with Gale, and hadn’t even come to watch Zane play at the bar yesterday.
He’d always been there, like clockwork, even if he performed his duties as a bouncer while he was at it. Knowing he wasn’t there had made the whole experience bland. Throughout the show, Zane kept wondering where the bastard had gone, and with whom, but he’d refused to ask when they saw one another later, because the reality was that he should train himself not to care any longer. At least he could assume Roach wasn’t fucking anyone, because Zane didn’t have any of those unnatural spikes of arousal while on stage.
But once Saturday came around, Roach woke up early and stated they’d been paid so they could buy the jacket Zane needed. Zane half-expected him to drop the pretense of ignorance and poke at Zane’s dyscalculia, but even now, when they barely spoke, Roach wouldn’t stab Zane where he was defenseless. He still didn’t want to embarrass him, as if Zane hadn’t said those humiliating things in front of Karla. And he’d given Zane an extra sweater for the ride.
“It’s not far, so let’s get this done,” Roach said and hid his face under a helmet as soon as he mounted his black beast of a bike.
Zane hesitated, his gaze focused on Roach’s ass in the faded jeans and on the wide back he would lean against. He could just hold on to the back of the seat, of course, but that wouldn’t have felt secure enough, and sharing warmth on a November day was only natural, wasn’t it?
He mounted the vehicle behind Roach, still hesitant whether he should lean in like he used to when things between them were not as tense.
It felt weird to suddenly have all those barriers.
Roach sighed. “Grab me. I don’t want you actually falling off and scraping my face over the asphalt.”
Zane pressed his face between Roach’s shoulder blades almost too fast, and he froze, wondering if Roach could somehow recognize how he was feeling about the speed. But this was a performance, and he needed to stick to his role in it.
Moments later, the darted sped out of the motel parking lot, and Zane shut his eyes, enduring the bitter cold in the three hoodies he wore for protection against the cold. He’d given Roach the leather jacket back in a gesture of spite and now regretted it. The strip mall was only a few minutes’ ride away, and since he was close to shaking by the time they parked in front of a large second hand store, Zane didn’t wait for Roach, speeding straight into its warm interior.