He winked. “I bet you were.”
Her face turned hot as she glanced at the table. Ugh. How did he manage to keep her so off balance? “Shut up,” she mumbled.
When she lifted her gaze, he cocked an eyebrow at her. It was bratty, but what could he do? They were in the middle of a public place. It wasn’t as if he’d spank her there. She smirked. She could play games too.
Sighing, he sat back in his chair. “Did you come here just to brat at me and think you’re safe, or was there something on your mind?”
She shook herself back to business mode. “I just wanted to thank you for your help. I know it was an inconvenience.” A vision of Banner pounding into her, chest sweaty, smiling when she screamed popped into her mind. Maybe not that incon
venient. He seemed to enjoy their lessons. “But I think I’ve learned all I need to.”
“Wait a minute.” His brow furrowed. “Is this a break-up speech?”
She shrugged. “Is there anything to break up? We were never together.”
“True.” He narrowed his eyes and stared, making her shrink back at his intensity. “What’s this really about? What’s scaring you off?”
“Nothing,” she snapped too quickly.
His lips quirked, and she sighed.
“I just . . .”
“Can’t resist me when we’re together and that’s freaking out your carefully controlled world.”
Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.
She swallowed hard and squirmed in her seat. “It wasn’t supposed to go like this. I just think I’m ready to move on now. I’ve learned a lot.”
“Have you?”
“Yes.” More than he knew.
“What did you learn?”
“Protocol. Expectations . . .”
“No. I mean, what did you learn about yourself?”
Her gaze flickered to his, gauging whether he was serious. Their eyes met in a moment of scorching heat. Their chemistry was still there, as electric as it’d been a few nights before. And now he seemed to be staring into her, searching for truths she didn’t want to share. Quickly, she looked away. For some reason, the urge to answer him honestly, even if it made her vulnerable, was too much to resist.
“Um.” She laced her fingers together then looked at him. “I learned what submission is.”
“And what’s that?”
“I can tell you what it’s not. It’s not weakness of character. It’s not antifeminist. It’s not about being a doormat.”
“And it’s not about losing control.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“It’s about handing it over. To someone you trust. To someone you could eventually come to love.”
Love? Could she grow to love someone who demanded control? Weeks ago she’d have adamantly protested the idea, but now . . . she wasn’t so sure. Being a slave was out of the question, but submitting was becoming about more than just good sex. Admitting that to Banner would only make it harder to end things, especially with their connection. He’d see no reason they couldn’t continue having sex and experimenting with BDSM, but her future wasn’t his main concern. She had to keep her goal in mind. Finding a partner who was as good at loving her inside the bedroom as he was outside of it.
At his expectant look, she gave him a noncommittal shrug.
It was quiet for a moment as she stared at the table. Then she glanced up at him. What was he thinking? Was he sad they wouldn’t have sex anymore? Would he refuse to stay friends? She didn’t get the impression it was all about sex for him, but it was hard to be sure. He was a guy after all—wasn’t that supposedly first and foremost on their minds?