I spend the next hour like this, watching Evie sleep (it’s only slightly creepy of me) and trying to work through some of the insecurities that Natalie left me with. Evie may be stuffing herself inside Tinkerbell’s house, but she’s not fooling anyone—me, especially. She’s used to a different life. One of money and prospects
and people who have a whole lot more to offer than me.
Natalie left me because she wanted more.
Evie’s already had the kind of life that Natalie is chasing. She knows what she’s missing out on. And although she says she doesn’t want the kind of life that she grew up with, what’s to say she won’t want it back later on? Sam and I can’t go through that again.
I’m saved from my own thoughts when I feel my phone buzzing. I hurry and silence it before it disturbs Evie. She hasn’t moved, though. Her soft pink lips are slightly parted, and her dark lashes are fanned against her cheeks. Her blonde waves cascade around her, and I’m feeling so in awe of her that I’m glad I have to get up and talk to my sister on the phone. As carefully as possible, I extract myself from Evie’s bed and quietly slip out the front door.
“Hey, June,” I say, answering my phone.
“How is she?”
Sam was already with June while I was at the office this afternoon. When Evie called, saying she was about to have a seizure, I called June and told her I’d be later than I had originally planned because I needed to go be with Evie.
“She’s okay. Resting now.”
“I’m glad you’re there with her,” says June, and her concern makes me smile. She likes Evie a lot.
“Me too. And listen, what do you think about just letting Sam stay the night with you so I can stay here and take care of Evie tonight?”
There is a long pause and, at first, I think that maybe she disapproves. I should have known better, though, because I quickly realize that she’s just taking a minute to stifle whatever celebration she’s doing on the other end. “Eeeeekk, you love her! I knew it.”
“Stop,” I say, hoping to put an end to her pestering before she gets out of hand. “I just don’t want to leave her like this.”
“Mmhmm. Don’t lie to me. You just want to be there when she’s feeling better.” She begins to sing, “Jake and Evie, sitting in a—”
“Is this going to go on for much longer? Because I need to go back in and help Evie.”
She laughs. “Yeah, don’t worry about Sam. I’ll take good care of her.” And do you know what? For the first time since Sam’s diagnosis, I’m not worried. She’s got Daisy now, and after today, seeing Charlie tend to Evie so diligently, I have more faith in service dogs than ever. Daisy will keep Sam safe until I get to her if something happens.
Later that night, I’m washing dishes in Evie’s 6-inch wide sink when I hear her say, “You’re still here.”
I cut off the water and turn around to face her bed. She’s sitting up, and her hair is all draped across one shoulder. Her eyes are heavy, and honestly, she looks more beautiful than ever. I lean back against the sink and cross my arms with a smile. “Did you think I wouldn’t be?”
She looks down to pet Charlie and shrugs. “I didn’t know.”
Something about those words tears me up.
I uncross my arms and make my way back to Evie’s bed. She watches me approach with shy eyes, and she pulls her covers up a little higher like she’s naked under there, which she’s not. She’s still fully clothed in her yellow sundress just like I found her. But I realize as I get closer that she does feel naked. I’ve seen her seizure, and that’s making her feel vulnerable.
I climb onto the bed beside her, and it’s hilarious how unsteady this little thing is. It sags heavily under my weight, and Evie notices with a grin. I lean my back against the headboard and pull her to my chest. “I’m not going anywhere,” I say into her hair, and then I kiss her forehead.
We stay like that for a minute, and I can feel her quickened breathing against my chest. It makes me smile to know that I have the same effect on her that she has on me. “How are you feeling?” I ask.
She tilts her chin up to me and wrinkles her nose. “I’ve been better.” She then looks down to her hand resting on my chest, and she moves her index finger in a small circle. “I’ve also been worse.” Oh, man. Can she feel my heart trying to pound out of my chest and leap into her hand? It’s embarrassing.
Her smile grows, and her eyes peek back up at me, and yep, she can feel it and it’s going right to her pretty little head. She then lays her head right on my chest where her ear is perfectly centered with my hammering heart. It’s a pointed move. One where she’s saying, Yeah, I know how you feel about me, and I like it.
We spend the entire rest of the day like this until I force myself to go pick us up some dinner. When her stomach settles and her migraine subsides a little, we eat on the couch and watch reruns of Friends with her legs draped over my lap and my arm around her shoulders. It feels so right. So natural. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this content in my entire life. And I’ll say one thing: it doesn’t feel casual.
I think what we’ve shared together today has probably tied us together more than anything physical would have. Although, the night wasn’t completely physical-less. We definitely spent an entire episode of Friends making out on her tiny couch. It was sweet and appropriate (at least that’s going to be my answer when June asks me about it later), and we both cut it off before anything more serious happened. The self-control between us is outrageous. I wouldn’t be surprised if we got asked to be the newest spokespeople for an abstinence program. But unless they pay me a billion dollars, there’s no way I’m going to wear an “Abstinence is Cool!” T-shirt.
Sometime about midnight, Evie falls asleep on the couch beside me. I pick her up and carry her to bed and climb in behind her. Charlie is once again on one side of Evie, and I’m on the other. It’s not the most comfortable thing to sleep in jeans and a shirt, and the bed is so small that my butt hangs off the edge. But honestly, I couldn’t care less. Evie is here with me. I can smell the coconut scent lingering in her hair and hear her taking deep breaths as she sleeps. This feels right, and I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to keep convincing myself that we’re just two casual friends dating.
This feels a lot like falling in love.
Chapter Twenty-Eight