He nodded and looked out toward the garden. It was a lovely garden. Very well maintained with lots of different species of flowers. And the water fountain in the middle of the garden was nice as well. It would have made some lady very happy…
“Elizabeth,” said Wesley in a different tone. One that was more nervous and hesitant than she’d heard from him yet. Perhaps it was because he was sitting alone with her in a garden? She imagined he thought this a very scandalous tête-à-tête. “I believe you are aware of my feelings toward you.”
Elizabeth forced herself to breathe. This was it. This was the moment she had been working toward since she stepped foot in London. Only…it didn’t feel at all like she had hoped or imagined.
“Yes—I believe I am,” she said, not willing to meet his eyes. It felt wrong. It all felt so wrong. Especially given her feelings toward Oliver and the kiss that she could still taste on her lips.
“And I am aware of your feelings toward me,” said Wesley, causin
g Elizabeth’s eyes to shoot to him. He smiled weakly. “Or—I should say, your lack of feelings for me.”
“Wesley—”
He held up his hand. “You have nothing to defend. I only brought it up to say that I think I understand the situation between you and…Mr. Turner.” How did he know? Were her feelings that evident?
She hurried to interject, “There is no future between myself and Mr. Turner.” The words stung but they were true.
He nodded. “I know that as well. Which is why I wanted to make my intentions clear from the beginning. Elizabeth, I’m very fond of you. I hold you in great esteem and I would be honored to have you as my wife.” She felt tears prickling her eyes for countless reasons. “I am under no illusions that I hold your heart, or that it does not belong to Oliver Turner. However…” that however gave her hope somehow. “I believe that you and I would deal amiably together.”
He turned to face her, his knees brushing against hers. She looked down, noting the close contact they had never shared before. He continued, “My hope is that over time, we can develop a trusting friendship that could grow into love. I know that I can be too serious and strict—a fault that I believe you will help remedy within me.” She smiled as he smiled. And then he reached up and lightly touched her face. “I’m not sure why you and Mr. Turner’s futures do not coincide, but I cannot say that I’m not thankful for it. Because, Elizabeth, I truly do wish for you to be mine. To be with me now and always. And I hope that you will say yes and become my wife.”
He wanted her now and always.
Elizabeth watched with shaky breath as Wesley tilted his head down and brushed a soft kiss over her lips. She closed her eyes and focused on him. On the warmth of his hand on her face. On the caring words he uttered. On the future she could have with him—a man who wanted her.
A tear escaped the corner of her eye and Wesley pulled away slowly, still holding her face gently in his hand. He was a good man. That he would be good to her, Elizabeth was certain.
His kiss had not evoked butterflies or breathlessness, but it was sweet and secure. Elizabeth took in a purifying breath and smiled. “Yes, Wesley. I would be honored to become your wife.”
Oliver’s eyes swept over the letter from Kensworth for the tenth time, but the words did not hurt any less than the first time he had read them.
Elizabeth and Lord Hastings are to be married on the first of April. The contracts have been signed and everything has been finalized. I know it will be difficult, but I beg you attend the ceremony.
It went on to state that the ceremony would be held in Hastings's parish. That meant in one week, Elizabeth would be married. In one week, Elizabeth would start a new life—one without him.
Anger coursed through Oliver’s veins. He crushed up the parchment and threw it at the wall. He’d spent three weeks in that cursed house. No matter how much sunlight was let in, it still felt dark. But what did it matter if he enjoyed living there or not? He imagined anywhere he lived without Elizabeth would feel dark and empty, too.
Except now he was going to have to live in a home that neighbored the one housing the woman he loved, but could never have, for the rest of his life. It was pathetic. He could have simply gone back to London and finally taken up residence in the townhouse he had inherited. However, he couldn’t bring himself to leave knowing Lizzie was still nearby. He hadn’t seen her once since the night they had kissed, but there was a quiet comfort in knowing she was still near him. Is this how he would spend the rest of his life? Slowly torturing himself in a house he despised, and living in close proximity to a woman he loved more than his breath but could not have.
You could have her.
But, no. He knew it was better that she had chosen Hastings.
It was better.
Chapter Thirty-Four
“My darling girl, how beautiful you look!” said Mama as she handed Elizabeth a small bouquet of flowers.
Elizabeth looked down at her pale pink gown and ran her hand across the bodice, trying to soothe her nerves. It was her wedding day. It was a time to be happy and joyous. Not to feel like sobbing. And yet…
“Is Kate feeling any better?” asked Elizabeth.
Mama and Papa and Kate had all finally overcome each of their illnesses just in time to spend a few days before the wedding with Elizabeth and Wesley’s family at Addington Hall. Having them there made a place that felt looming and uncomfortable a little more like home. Papa’s laughter boomed through the walls, and Kate had tiptoed into her room almost every night to slide under the covers and gossip until the early morning hours.
And although Wesley had unfortunately been forced to spend the last two weeks in London tending to business before they wed and went off on a wedding trip, Elizabeth had begun to picture her future there. It wasn’t exciting or unpredictable—but it felt sure and certain and it gave her hope. Her heart would mend. She would have a family. A home. She would be happy.
She would be.