His father’s shoulders relaxed. “Oh, that.” He put his hand over his chest as if to still his heart while retaking his seat. What was he thinking? Now was not the time to sit down!
“What do you mean, Oh, that? The love of my life has left and I have not a clue in the world where she has gone.”
His father just obnoxiously settled his spectacles back on the bridge of his nose and looked down at whatever unimportant thing he had been reading before. “Take a damper, son.”
“Take a damper?” And now he could add repeating everything someone said to the list of unfortunate traits he had collected that week. “Why should I do that?” Did his Father not wish for him to marry Rose after all? Did he think she wasn’t eligible enough?
“Because I’m afraid you are going to feel like a fool when I tell you that the woman you love left three days ago.” A leveling glare found its way over his father’s spectacles.
“Oh.” Carver sunk down in a chair, feeling all of the momentum and energy from a moment ago leave him. Rose was gone. He looked up and didn’t like the way that deuced wolf was mocking him so he stood up again and started pacing the room. “I suppose I haven’t been the most aware of Rose’s movements this past week.”
His father tipped his brows. “That’s one way of putting it.” And then put down the paper. He focused all of his attention on Carver and for the first time in three years, Carver felt as if his father was unafraid to tell him what he thought. “None of us begrudged you the time you needed this past week, Carver. But neither did we begrudge Rose her decision to leave when she felt unwanted by the man who had supposedly loved her.” Carver winced.
Unwanted. That couldn’t be further from the truth. He wanted her with every fiber of his being. And it made him feel sick to think that she felt in any way undesired by him. “I didn’t mean to push her away,” he said, his voice low and heavy with the remorse he felt. “I only hoped to put myself back together before I married her.”
His father smiled and Carver felt relieved that the barrier he had placed between himself and his father was gone now. He had missed him. Needed his honesty. “I appreciate you trying to be honorable. But in this case, that was a stupid decision.” The duke had never been one to mince matters. He stood up and leaned against his desk, folding his arms across his chest, fully leaning back into his role of protector, teacher, and father. “What do you intend to do when you experience hardship and trials during marriage? Leave her until you can sort out your pain on your own? If you’re going to marry her, you need to be able to talk to her about what you’re going through. She deserves your honesty and vulnerability.”
“I know she does,” said Carver, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m afraid it’s too late.” He pushed his hand through his hair and began to pace again. “I need to find her, but I have no idea where to start looking. I suppose London would be a good place.” He froze. “But what if she took a position in service? She wasn’t going to go back to her old life. She could be anywhere in England by now.” His newfound hopes were sinking with every word. “Perhaps I could hire another runner to seek her out. But that comes with the risk of opening back up her old crimes and I doubt she would be too pleased if I did that.” But what other choice did he have? She felt lost to him.
“Or…” His father’s voice cut through his despair. He lazily held up a small piece of paper between two fingers. “You could just follow the direction she wrote down for us before she left.”
Chapter 38
It had been almost two weeks since Rose had left Dalton Park. Her heart still ached at the thought of never seeing Carver again, and her stomach fluttered with hope every time there was a knock on the door. But it was never him.
Despite missing Carver, Rose had truly begun enjoying her new life. She and Uncle Felix had left Dalton Park and ridden straight to Hopewood Orphanage. And with the Duke of Dalton’s recent patronage, Rose and Uncle Felix were able to see to the needs of the children and staff without having to steal a single penny. The Duke had even provided enough funds to have major repairs made to the small orphanage as well as purchasing a neighboring estate so that they could begin expanding the number of children they were able to take in.
They were even gifted enough funds to be able to take on a new staff member. After having Uncle Felix’s brother send word that a position as a nursemaid in a small orphanage was being offered to her, Daphney Bellows had written to accept the position and was due to arrive any day.
For the first time in her adult life, Rose had a home and a life she could be proud of. She finally allowed herself the freedom of getting to know each of the children in the orphanage and letting them know her. All of the children had been rescued from similar situations to the one she had lived as a child. Having understood their hurts, fears, and even nightmares, she had bonded quickly with the children. She loved them.
Rose was really living and no longer pretending or hiding from anyone. Except for just then. Rose actually was hiding in a coat closet.
“I found you’s, Miss Rosie!” said little John as he flung open the door to the closet, allowing light to spill over her. Laugher fled from her chest as she wrapped her arms around the proud little boy. “Very good, John! That took you no time at all.”
Two more children fluttered up behind John, congratulating him on his victory, bouncing and squealing with excitement. The joy she felt was real and tangible and presented itself in the form of dimpled little urchins squealing in an entryway.
The only way she could be any happier was if…
Knock knock knock.
No. It couldn’t be. Rose swallowed and forced the flutters in her stomach to still. It’s not him. Would she ever be able to hear a knock on the door without silently hoping she would find Carver on the other side?
“Run along and wash up for dinner, now,” she said, shooing the children up the stairs. “Uncle Felix will be b
ack from town any minute and he will expect to see thirty clean and smiling children!” That last bit she had to yell up the stairs after the children running away from her.
Rose turned back toward the door and took a deep breath. She crossed the creaky floor, smoothed her apron, and braced herself for the disappoint she would feel after she opened the door.
Disappointment never found her.
“Carver,” she said in little more than a whisper when she opened the door to the handsome mountain of a man she loved. Was it really him? Or was she just going mad and conjuring him up in her mind? “What are you doing here?”
The warm afternoon sunlight glistened over his wavy hair and kissed the tops of strong shoulders, only highlighting the man’s handsome form.
He smiled rakishly, crossed his arms and leaned against the threshold of the open door. Rose’s heart felt like it would burst from her chest. “You never answered my question.” His carefree attitude felt completely opposite to Rose’s frenzied nerves.
“What question?” Her words came out breathless and broken. Probably because she was actually holding her breath.