Ruby smiled as she picked up her coat and hat. “But you never really had me to let me go. Did you?”
3
No one questioned her late arrival coming home that evening because no one was about. When Ruby took off her clothes to change into her simple chemise for bed, she saw her breasts were pink in some places where his kisses had become very passionate.
She blushed in the gaslight of her room. She had given herself completely to Ford, and she had absolutely no regrets. She had long loved him, and that he should be the one to claim her virginity she thought fitting.
But she had lied to Ford about many things. She had been thrilled at his desire to wed her and had wanted nothing more than to lie in his arms that night and marry him the next morning. But she couldn’t. She knew he didn’t love her, and she had to follow her dreams.
She looked about her small room and remembered with a heavy heart that her father was gone. He had probably long since been buried in the family plot. He was the only person in her life that had loved her unconditionally. Now that he was gone, she felt even more alone in the world. But the more she thought about the death of her father, the more she realized she was on the right path.
She would never return to Mississippi. There was nothing for her there but a cold, unloving mother and a nasty-tempered sister. She knew now that her future lay in New York, even if it was an uncertain one.
Saying good-bye to the friends she had made over the past three years at Miss Porter’s was difficult, but each you
ng woman now had a separate path to take. The teachers wished her well, and she traveled to New Haven to catch the train bound for Manhattan.
She settled back into her seat and thought about the journey. She had coolly explained her plan to Ford, and he had almost laughed in her face. He had said she was crazy to travel all alone to New York, and perhaps she was crazy. But deep inside, she was also frightened to death.
Her small suitcase was next to her feet, and she clutched her purse with both gloved hands as if it might be snatched from her at any moment. She wore a blue-and-gray-striped traveling suit, and her hat was pinned at an angle. She looked every inch a lady and hoped that no one would bother her as she was traveling alone.
She glanced around the compartment and saw an elderly couple seated together, a young couple seated farther back, and a young man studying the newspaper, completely oblivious to the world around him.
Ruby fiddled with the tips of her gloves and opened her purse. She had placed a few dollars inside, but the rest of the money was in the bottom of her shoe. She had heard stories about people stealing purses and luggage, but no one would steal her shoes, she thought, smiling to herself.
She had embarked on a grand adventure, and she felt the thrill of it all. When she leaned back and closed her eyes, she thought of that night once more. Ford seemed to always be with her, especially at night. She dreamed of him kissing and touching her, his warm body covering hers.
She knew she had done the right thing. There was no going back to Mississippi. What would she even do there? Become wife to Ford, and then what? Spend her days embroidering and taking tea with the other matrons? Raising two or three children? No. That was not the life she envisioned for herself.
Ruby had done her homework and knew a little bit about the areas in Manhattan and where the theaters were situated. She knew, of course, about Broadway and the vaudeville theaters that had begun springing up in the past twenty years. She had marked on a piece of paper the addresses of the various vaudeville theaters and planned to visit each one.
Some of the theaters she had read about, and others she had heard mentioned in passing by a teacher or students who had been to New York. She was excited to visit the theaters and find one that she liked and that looked respectable. Once she achieved that, she would introduce herself to the manager and ask for a job. She knew she might start out at the bottom doing errands or other menial work, but she was willing to do it.
She looked around the compartment again, but nothing had changed. Still the two couples and the one young man, who slowly turned the pages of his newspaper. She saw he had sandy blond hair, and their eyes met briefly before he returned to his news.
She had not written a word to her mother. She didn’t feel bad about the separation; she felt nothing at all. She had always felt that she was a great disappointment to her mother, and she was sure her disappearance would not be missed. In fact, she was certain her mother and sister would welcome her absence.
When the train finally pulled into Manhattan, she exited with her small suitcase. Grand Central Station had recently been renovated, and Ruby tried not to stare at the grandeur of the huge building that surrounded her.
She asked a porter for directions to Broadway, and she was able to find the street easily by walking. She was greeted by tall buildings on either side of her as she walked along the busy street. She saw several theaters and restaurants and watched the horses clip-clopping along with their carriages. She even saw a streetcar move quickly past them all.
She stopped before a smaller music hall, not because she wanted to but because the wad of money in her laced-up boot was making it difficult to walk. She looked down the busy street and decided to turn into the alley at the side of the theater to remove the money.
She placed her suitcase next to her and sat on it. She was about to unlace her boot when she heard two people arguing.
“Come on, Archie. You know I’m right. We didn’t leave little nowhere Kansas to end up in a two-bit music hall,” a female voice said.
“I agree, Bessie. But it pays the rent and feeds us. That’s good enough for now,” the male voice responded.
“Oh Christ, Archie! You’ve been saying that for six months now, and nothing has changed! We need to audition at a bigger theater and try our luck,” the female said, exasperated, as they rounded the corner and stumbled upon Ruby.
“Excuse me,” Ruby said in embarrassment while Archie’s eyes were glued to Ruby’s exposed calf.
“Are you lost? Hurt?” Bessie asked kindly.
“Oh no. No,” she said, flipping her skirt down over her leg. “I was resting. I’m new here. To New York, that is.”
“New to New York? What are you doing here? Are you a performer?” Bessie asked.