Cold Hearted Bachelor

The night I turned her down.

The night I humiliated her.

I’m surprised she doesn’t hate me, and who knows, maybe she does. Maybe that’s another reason I’ve been avoiding her for years.

Have you ever had that thing in your life where you feel like, if you were a different person—if you were a better man—you could have that thing and be happy? That’s what Paisley Watts is for me. It’s just not in the cards for us. Why? Because she’s way too good for me. A fact her father and brother have hammered into my head since I’ve met them. “Paisley deserves the moon. Paisley deserves it all,” they’ve said throughout the years. She can never know just how hard it was to turn her away. At eighteen, I already knew that Paisley would deconstruct my barriers. And at twenty-eight, I know that’s a fact as I stab at my peas, trying my best not to inhale the blueberry scent of her shampoo. It reminds me of those lollipops. The white and deep blue ones that taste like blueberry cheesecake. Like a little slice of heaven.

“So how is business, guys?” Brian Watts asks, squelching my inappropriate thoughts about his daughter.

He’s one of the many reasons I’ve built a wall around my attraction to Paisley. Brian has been more of a father to me than my own dad, who walked away when I was only ten years old.

Brian taught me everything I know about building things with my hands. About laying down a foundation, and doing everything according to plan. Never wavering. Always making certain I had the right tools to get the job done.

I’d like to say that’s how I look at life now, having the right tools.

“It’s been really good.” Spencer and I have created a profitable business. Beyond profitable, if I’m being honest. “We got a few new contracts last week. There’s one we’re really excited about.”

I pop a pea into my mouth, letting my thigh brush against Paisley’s for a millisecond. It’s so brief, it doesn’t count.

“That’s great news.”

While Brian and Spencer launch into a discussion about the construction business, I look over at Paisley and her light blue eyes meet mine.

“I’m sorry we didn’t ask if you were busy.”

“It’s ok.” She scoots peas around on her plate and gives me the innocent smile that attracted boys like bees to honey in high school. On more than one occasion, Spencer and I had to keep guys at bay. She’s probably got a million guys after her now. That thought irritates me.

“No hot date you need to cancel?” I’m selfish and want to know if she’s dating anyone.

“No, no hot date.”

It’s hard to look away from her. She’s so fucking pretty. Long blonde hair flows past her shoulders like silk. And it’s not the typical golden blonde either. No, her hair is angel blonde, with wisps that flutter around her flawless face. And I’m the devil who shouldn’t be alone with her.

“If you want to go another time, I get it,” I say, offering her a way out.

“No, don’t be silly. It’s fine.”

“I can drive, and then bring you back to your car so you can go home?”

Her cheeks turn pink when she explains she’s staying with her parents until the house is liveable.

I lean closer, a glutton for punishment and breathe her in. “Well, let’s get it done quickly, so you can get your privacy back.”

“Privacy would be great,” she says.

My wicked mind races to what naughty things she probably does in the privacy of her own home.

Pull it together, before you sport wood at the dinner table.

“When are you looking to move in, Paisley?” Spencer asks.

She shrugs, and the motion brings her slender arm dangerously close to mine. “Whenever it’s all ready to be lived in, I guess.” She laughs a little. “Believe me, it needs a lot of work.”

“There’s never been a house we can’t fix. Isn’t that right, V?” Spencer directs his question at me.

I nod. “Yeah, we’ll get that place liveable in no time.”

Mrs. Watts makes a noise from the other side of the table. “I can’t believe my baby will be living so far away all by herself.”

“Mom, I’m not a baby. I’ll be fine.”

Her mother gets teary-eyed. “I just hate it. Will you be safe out there all alone?”

She brings up a good point, and suddenly I want to see this house and location even more.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve lived alone before,” Paisley reassures her mother.

“But never so far out in the middle of nowhere.”

Paisley sighs. “Maybe I’ll get a guard dog.”

This appeases her mother, and everyone continues talking around the table as I sit back and observe. It’s been so long since I’ve been at the Watts’ house. And I don’t want to tell anyone the main reason I stay away is for fear of falling for their only daughter. A girl I can never have.