I want to kiss the breath from her lungs. I want to lay her out on the grass and worship her. The list of things we could do, that we could share, is endless as they flash through my mind, but I don’t act on any of them. If anything, I’m a gentleman. That’s how I was raised. It’s also a little bit of self-preservation. I’m leaving, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again. Sure, Chad and I are friends and will remain so, but life gets in the way. She could be long gone from this small town by the time I’m able to give her all my time and attention.
I’m a soldier.
My life is not my own.
It’s what I signed up for. I knew what I was getting into. Eyes wide open and all that, but sitting here next to her, I can’t help but wonder if I would have met her first, would I have made the same choices?
A vision of Sara pops in my head. She wanted me to choose her, and I wanted to choose the army. It’s harsh, but so is life. However, if it had been the beauty sitting next to me asking me to stay, I don’t think I could have ever walked away from her. The thought of doing so just after knowing her for days is already twisting and turning with unease in my gut.
“You ready to be schooled?” she asks, stepping out of the UTV.
“You know they call me the fish whisperer,” I tease. I step out of the UTV and meet her at the back. I grab the cooler, and tackle box, and the other bag she tossed in the back while she grabs the poles. “I’ll come back for the chairs,” I tell her.
“Nah, we’re staying right here.” She points over her shoulder. “It’s only a few feet.”
“So all of this?” I look down at the bags I’m carrying.
“Snacks.”
“Can you be any more perfect?” I ask. I didn’t really mean to say the words aloud, but I’m not going to take them back. “Fishing, no-frills, and snacks. Next thing you’re going to tell me is you’ve got cold beer inside this cooler.”
“Am I that obvious?”
“Obvious? No. Not at all. Every man’s dream girl? Most definitely.”
“You’re a sweet talker, Ford Gregory.”
“Only for you, Shayne Danner.” I toss her a wink and get busy pulling the small container of worms out of the tackle box so that we can bait our hooks.
“I’m not one of those girls who’s afraid to touch a worm,” she says, placing a chair beside me before setting one up for herself.
“I’m being chivalrous.”
“Oh, is that what you’re going with?” She chuckles.
“I’m trying to woo you.”
“Woo me?” Surprise dances across her face.
“I guess I need to step up my game.” I laugh.
“You’re trying to woo me?” Her voice is soft, and the laughter is gone.
“Abso-fucking-lutely.”
“You barely know me.”
“That’s all a part of the wooing process.”
“Ford—” She quickly snaps her mouth shut.
“Look.” I step toward her, cupping her jaw with my hand. Her skin is so damn soft. “I know I don’t know you, Shayne. I don’t know you, but I want to. I want to know what brings this sparkle to your eyes, and I want to know what dims it.” I think about the girl at the restaurant. “I want to know your hopes, your dreams, and your fears.”
“You’re leaving.”
Swallowing hard, I nod. “I am. I might not be here with you, fishing at the pond, hanging out where you work, or grabbing breakfast with you, but I’ll be here with you.” My eyes bore into hers, willing her to believe me.
“This is crazy,” she whispers.
“So you’ll do it? You’ll keep in touch. You’ll let me get to know you? I know it’s a lot to ask, and it’s unconventional, but something in here”—I place my hand that’s not cradling her cheek against my chest—“tells me that not knowing you would be the worst decision I ever made.”
“Where will you go next?”
“I’m not sure.” I drop my hand from her face and take a step back. “We never know until we get our orders. I’ll spend a few days at home with my family, and then it’s back to base. We can write, talk on the phone, and if you think you can get a weekend away, you could come to visit me.”
“What makes you think I’d want to use my free weekend to come and visit you?”
“Hoped is more like it.” I chuckle. “Look, this sounds certifiable even to me. I’m aware that we just met, but in my line of work, you learn to trust your gut.”
“And what is your gut telling you?”
“That we can’t let this opportunity pass us by.”
Those blue-green eyes watch me intently. Finally, she breaks her silence. “You know what my gut is telling me?”