“Should I go around back?” I don’t know what the protocol is for going home with an employee who lives above the bar. I don’t want to get her in trouble.
“Nah. Give me a few, and I’ll take you through the kitchen with me.”
I nod, holding up my bottle of water, letting her know I’ll be right here. I don’t plan to leave this stool that I’ve been holding down since Chad and I arrived a couple of hours ago. He’s long since gone. Some buddies of his came in, and they went to a party. They invited me to go along, and I felt kind of bad for declining, but it would take a literal war to pull me away from Shayne tonight.
Chad and I are leaving in less than thirteen hours for my home in Ohio. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to see my family, but leaving Shayne, even though I’ve only known her a week, is tearing me up inside.
I want to spend every minute I can with her. I want to soak up every single moment, every memory of our time together. We also need to talk about what happens next. I know that she’s incredible and sexy, and everything I never knew I wanted. Just because I’m going back to base doesn’t mean we can’t do this. There are countless military families that make it work.
I want to make it work.
Although I want to nail down what our future might hold, I’m not going to bring it up tonight. If she decides she can’t do it, or hell, if she’s not interested, then that’s going to ruin the night. I want this last night with her to hold her close and just… be.
“All set,” Shayne says, appearing next to me.
“Lead the way.” I place my hand on the small of her back and let her guide us through the kitchen and to the door that will lead us to her apartment. “I’m glad that door stays locked,” I say when she has to pull out her keys to unlock the door.
“Me too. Jet and I are the only two who have access. He even goes out of his way to threaten the staff that if they ever were to find it unlocked, they are to notify him immediately and never go inside, or he will prosecute them for trespassing.”
“Really?” I ask, closing the door behind us and making sure the lock is engaged.
“Yep. He’s good to me. He’s helped me so much.”
“I’m glad that you have him in your life.”
“Yeah,” she says softly. “Me too.”
We reach her apartment and she unlocks the door, stepping back to let me inside. My eyes scan the room for my bag, but I don’t see it. “My stuff?” I ask her.
“Oh, I put it in my room.” Her cheeks flush a light pink.
I want to kiss her.
Up to this point, it’s not something we’ve done, but I want to. No, I need to more than my next breath. Stepping close to her, I cradle her face in the palm of my hands. Her beautiful eyes tell me she knows what I’m thinking, but I refuse to take from her in any capacity without asking her permission first. I don’t know everything that happened to her in her past, but I know it’s not good. My mind can create some pretty terrible scenarios, and I never want her to feel as though she doesn’t have a choice. Not with me.
“You’re beautiful.” My words are barely a whisper.
“You’re here. I don’t need flattery.”
“Shayne—” I stop and pull back. Lacing my fingers with hers, I lead us to the couch and tug her into my lap. “Tell me,” I urge gently, “what happened to make you think that the only reason I would tell the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on that she is, in fact, beautiful, would be to get your time or your body?”
“I can’t.” Tears well in her eyes, and that emotion grips my heart like an iron fist. I hate seeing her upset.
“Can’t or won’t?” I keep my voice gentle. I don’t want her to think I’m upset with her. I just need to understand.
“Maybe a little of both. If that’s truly how you see me, then I don’t want anything I have to tell you about my past to ruin that.” She bites down on her bottom lip and blinks hard.
“There is nothing that you could tell me that would make me think any differently.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Try me?” It’s a challenge. I hate to throw it down, but I want her to open up to me. If I want us to be able to have something lasting and long-distance, at least for the next year, we need to be able to be open and honest with each other. I wasn’t going to do this tonight, but here we are.