There’s nothing left but goodbye.
Ford goes to Uncle Henry and shakes his hand. Words are exchanged, but I can’t hear them over the blood swooshing in my own ears. I watch as he moves to my aunt next. She pulls him into a warm hug, the same ones she used to give me before I had to return home to my mom when I was younger. He even gives Cassie a hug and kisses her on the cheek. They exchange a few words, and whatever he says makes her giggle. Cass hits him in the chest playfully before they turn to glance my way. If it weren’t for the affection clearly directed toward me, I’d be a little jealous.
Then, he’s moving my way. I try to take a step forward, ready to meet him halfway, but my legs don’t seem to work right. Instead, I stay where I am and remind myself to breathe. Ford slowly lifts a hand and touches my arm, sliding it up and around my back before pulling me into a hug. I inhale the familiar scent of his soap and deodorant, committing it to memory, as I rest my head against his chest. “I promise to call you later.”
I swallow hard. “I have to work until nine.”
He pulls back and meets my gaze. “Then I’ll call you after nine,” he replies, the softest grin on his lips.
“Okay,” I whisper.
Ford places both hands on my neck, his thumbs gently caressing my jaw, as he lowers his lips to mine. The kiss is tender. Sweet. Final. Absolute, because neither of us knows when we’ll share our next one.
“Thank you for saying yes, Shayne,” he whispers, his warm breath tickling my lips.
Before I can reply, he releases me and steps back. The warm air suddenly feels cold against my skin. Ford gives me a reassuring smile, one that tells me it’s going to be all right. He walks backward, heading toward the car and away from where I stand. Each step he takes feels like a knife cutting at my chest.
“I’ll talk to you soon,” he assures as best as he can, but even I can see the uncertainty in his eyes.
I nod, unable to form words.
Then, he’s there, standing at the passenger side door and ready to climb in. Chad comes over and gives me a quick hug goodbye, but my eyes remain on his friend. I’m terrified to break eye contact.
My cousin climbs into the driver’s seat and shuts the door, starting the rental and cranking the air conditioning. Ford remains standing at the passenger side, a mix of sorrow and comfort in those amazing green eyes. He lifts his hand, giving me a wave, and then slips into the vehicle. I hear the door shut and the horn honk as it moves forward, heading for the roadway.
Heading away from me.
I watch as they reach the end of the driveway and turn left. I watch as the car picks up speed and eventually disappears from my sight. I watch as the man I’m falling for leaves, return ticket unknown.
Only then do I allow the tears to fall.
I had hoped I’d be able to wait until I was home, but there’s no stopping them. They fall in earnest, the warm river of wetness a steady reminder of the pain I feel.
The pain of losing Ford.
Sure, there will be letters. There will be phone calls and emails.
But it won’t be the same.
It’ll never be the same again.
Chapter 13
Ford
My fists are clenched tight where they rest on my thighs. My heart is beating erratically in my chest, my eyes burn, and there is a lump the size of the entire state of Kentucky in my throat. I knew I had to leave her. I knew I was only here for a matter of days, but I pursued her anyway. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would feel like this when I drove away from her.
Broken.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell Chad to turn the car around and go back. I need one more hug. One more taste of her lips, but I know that one more of anything when it comes to Shayne will never be enough.
“You all right over there?” Chad asks from his seat behind the wheel.
“Yep.” One-word answers are really all I’m capable of right now.
“You two planning on staying in touch?”
“Yep.”
“She’s different with you,” he says casually.
This pulls my attention as I turn to face him. His eyes remain on the road, but I know he can feel my gaze. I swallow hard, willing my emotions to stay at bay and ask, “What do you mean?”
He shrugs, never taking his hands off the wheel or his eyes off the road. “I’ve never seen her be taken with someone so fast. Shayne’s lived a hard life, and what happened…” He lets his voice trail off. “She’s usually more reserved, doesn’t let anyone get close.” Finally, he glances over at me. I can see the surprise in his features. “She let you in.”