After you left yesterday morning, Faith and I went back to our room and cried together. She was able to nod off to sleep, but I wasn’t so lucky. I just kept thinking about how damn proud I am of you and Chad, and while I was so incredibly sad, I was honored too. Honored to have our love and know there are men like you out there protecting people like me.
You’ll be happy to know Faith and I have remained in contact. I know, I know, it’s only been a day, but it still means something to me that she’s taken time out of her day to check on me. And to chat. It’s been a while since I’ve had a friend, and I find she’s easy to talk to. Must be a twin thing. She reminds me of you.
I had to work last night, and it was hard. I tried to be brave and not cry, but a Garth Brooks come on the jukebox about jumping in a truck and getting it on all night in a field, and suddenly, I was bawling like a baby. Which is nuts, because it’s not a sad song. The regulars thought I was crazy. I overheard Jet mumble something about emotional chicks and their periods. HAHAHAHA!
I’m working again tonight, and I think I’m glad. When I’m in this apartment, the walls feel so close. It makes it hard to breathe sometimes, but then I slip on that US Army T-shirt I stole from you, and I can feel you. And smell your deodorant. It’s really strong, and when I’m all alone, I don’t have to worry about you catching me sniffing it. I don’t ever want to wash it. Ever. In fact, you may have to send me a fresh supply of lightly worn shirts. Maybe once a week? A new one to get me by? No? Too weird? You love my weirdness.
Anyway, it’s only midafternoon and I’m already waiting for night because that means I can gaze up at the stars. Last night, the sky was so clear, I swore I could see all the constellations. I only know a few though, so I’m probably going to have to order a book to learn them all. I’m sure there’s more than just the Big and Little Dipper, Orion, and Taurus. That’s the bull, by the way. Google says there are 88 total, which means I have a lot more to learn!
Oh, before I forget to tell you, I texted your mom today. She said I could message her anytime and she’d reply. I hope that’s still OK. I told her I had made it back home safely and was working to stay busy. Those little bubbles appeared almost instantly, and I admit, I was so grateful for it. She bestowed some of that famous Beth Gregory Hallmark wisdom on me and had me cracking up by the time our conversation was done. You’re pretty lucky to have such an awesome woman in your corner.
Anyway, I should probably go. I need to shower before I head downstairs for work, and I have got to do something about these bags under my eyes. I look like I’m packing for a weekend getaway. HEHEHEHE
I hope this letter finds you well. Know that I am doing as well as I can. I miss you. So much. Some moments I think it’s not so bad, but then others, it’s hard to breathe. Those are the times I wonder if I’ll ever survive a whole year without you. But I know I can. I will. Because I have your love to carry me through. And I have a picture of you that I snapped while you were sleeping one night, like the true nutty stalker I am. I had no idea I had this crazy side of myself. First the shirt sniffing, and now the phone. Last night I fell asleep with my phone lying on the pillow beside me, that picture of you filling the screen. It was like you were there, hogging my pillow, just like you did when you were in here. Then I woke up and my battery was dead because I forgot to plug it in.
I won’t make that mistake twice.
Plug in phone, THEN stare at picture all night long of cute boyfriend sleeping.
I’m going to go now and get ready for work. I’ll write again tomorrow. Even though we’ll text or talk on the phone later tonight, I’ll still write to you because each time I do it, that’s one day closer to you being home.
Take care and be safe. Oh, and don’t let Chad take all your money in poker. He likes to bluff when he only has a low pair.
Thinking of you constantly and loving you always,
Shayne
Chapter 23
Ford
The first day back on base is full of meetings and workouts, and of course, my ass is dragging. It was worth it, though. Spending all night with Shayne in my arms, being able to make love to her and hold her just a little longer, was definitely worth the hell of today. It’s just after eight, and Chad, me, and a few of the other guys just got back from a late dinner. I’m almost too tired to eat, but I know that I needed the fuel, and I need sleep. I definitely need sleep.