“I am so sorry to hear that,” she said. “I can’t imagine being without a mother so young.”
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced,” I said. “And I think since she passed away, I became focused on being successful as young as I could. As fast as I could. I wanted nothing more than to make her proud, wherever the hell she is now.”
Mariya nodded.
“And I feel like I accomplished that, with my career,” I said. “But she wanted me to be happy in every aspect, and I’ve… I’ve failed her, there.”
“What is it that you’re missing?”
I nodded at Mariya. “Love,” I told her. I puffed out a laugh, shaking my head. “You know, this is just about the most unprofessional business meeting I’ve ever had. I apologize.”
Mariya smiled. “For me, my life and my work are one and the same,” she said. “I think this is the most real business meeting I’ve ever had. Maybe unprofessional, too, yes.”
We both laughed before going silent again.
“I lost someone I loved so, so much,” I said. “And the idea of that happening again is unfathomable.”
“Nothing is promised,” Mariya said.
I let out a slow sigh. “I think what I need most is a therapist, or something,” I said. “You’re very easy to talk to.”
“I took a few psychology courses in my university days,” Mariya said with a shrug. “It is my pleasure.”
I felt like my world was spinning around me even though I’d barely had any alcohol tonight. I was pretty sure I’d fucked up this entire business deal, unloading my emotions onto Mariya instead of being the slick, collected businessperson I usually was. I barely recognized myself, but I also felt an energy inside me like I’d never felt before.
“Well, we will talk more about work tomorrow,” Mariya said.
A flame of hope flickered inside me.
“You are still interested?”
“Are you kidding? Of course,” she said. “Fox, if you think this is the most unprofessional or emotional business meeting I’ve ever had, you have no idea what I’ve seen. This has been wonderful.”
“Thank you,” I said. “So, so much.”
“You have a good heart.”
“Well, that’s definitely the first time I’ve been told that,” I said.
“You should follow that heart,” she told me with a nod. “Following it for the last fifteen years helped you build one of the most impressive careers I’ve ever seen.”
Mariya’s phone rang and she answered it, leaning back. “Yes. Yes, he is here with me.”
I glanced up. A moment later, Mariya handed me her phone.
“Hello?” I asked tentatively.
“Fox,” came Maxine’s voice. “Why is your phone off?”
“It ran out of battery. What’s up?”
“Ben and the others aren’t going to make it tonight,” Maxine said. “They’re caught up.”
Relief flooded me immediately.
I could push the decision another day. I didn’t have to make any grand, life-altering steps tonight.
“I had a feeling that was going to happen,” I said. “It’s fine.”
“I’m not sure when he’s next available, but we can push for something this week.”
It was a classic occurrence. Like usual, I was expected to be kept waiting, ready and willing to meet with Ben Chamberlight whenever he was ready.
“Let me call you back when I’m home and have my charger, okay?”
“Thanks, Fox. I’m glad you’re back.”
I wished I could say the same.
My body was still buzzing as Mariya and I had said goodbye to each other outside the club a few minutes later. I hailed a taxi straight back to my penthouse, counting the seconds until I could get back. I got in, plugged my cell phone into the power outlet, and as soon as I had some charge, I dialed Maxine.
As it rang I stood up to look outside of the endless glass windows that lined my living room walls. The city’s skyline glittered in front of me, and for the first time in a long while, that represented hope.
Maybe I could have whatever I wanted. But maybe it was different than everything I’d thought it would be.
“All right Fox, what have we got?” Maxine finally answered.
“I want two things for tomorrow,” I told her. “Meetings with Mariya all day and afternoon, as well as my estate attorneys. An early dinner with Mariya at night, on me. And then a nonstop flight to San Francisco.”
15
Sam
The second day we spent in San Francisco, the whole family was in tourist mode. We went to Dolores Park, traipsing through the big grass field and looking out over the sweeping city below. We saw Lombard Street, the zigzag sloping road that led up a hill, like nothing I’d ever seen before. I took countless pictures of cable cars and Queen Anne style architecture, and I saw more pride flags in one city than I had in my whole life.
And late in the afternoon, after we’d ambled around the whole city all day, we finally made it to the Golden Gate Bridge. It was misty, almost foggy weather, and I couldn’t believe how much more surreal the bridge looked in real life than in pictures.