When my phone rang, I was shocked to realize I hadn’t checked my texts in a while. A flare of hope flashed through me as it rang, diminishing a little when I realized it was Red, not Fox.
That was exactly why I needed to take a break. If I was still waiting on Fox to call me, somewhere in my subconscious, and disappointed when one of my good friends called me, I was clearly way too hung up on him still.
“Hey, Red,” I answered, standing up and looking out over the bay.
“Howdy,” came his familiar rumble of a voice.
Instantly, I was comforted. Of course it was good to hear from Red.
“How are you? I miss you guys so much right now. I miss the tavern.”
“Hah,” Red exclaimed. “You’re in San Francisco, aren’t you?”
“We got in yesterday.”
“And you miss this little town?” Red asked.
I pulled in a long breath. “I really do, actually,” I said.
He clicked his tongue. “I thought you’d give up on Amberfield the second you saw California.”
“I love it here, don’t get me wrong. But I do miss home.”
“Well, I’m glad I rang you up,” Red said.
“I’m glad it’s you who called and not the boy I’ve been chasing,” I said. “I’m trying to detox from him right now.”
He chuckled. “Oh yeah?”
“You know me,” I said, breathing deep. “I think I’m the last person on Earth to realize how badly I needed to stop all of that nonsense.”
“Aw,” Red said. “No need to stop being boy crazy. Maybe you just need to start goin’ for the right guys, if you know what I mean.”
“Right,” I said, not convinced. “If they exist at all.”
“So, who’s the guy you were waiting on to call you up?”
I held my breath. “If I tell you, you have to promise not to make fun of me.”
“I can’t promise that, but I can promise that I’ll still love you no matter what, even if I do make fun of you a little,” he said. “Is it a guy you met at a strip club out there? Or, hell, a guy who works as a ranger at one of the campgrounds?”
“Nothing like that,” I said with a smile. “It’s actually… worse. Or better, depending on how you look at it.”
“I’m all ears,” Red said.
“I fell for my stepbrother,” I admitted, a rush of adrenaline coursing through me just from saying it.
“Hah!” Red said. “That is juicy.”
“I know.”
“Never thought I’d hear that coming out of your mouth,” Red said. “You hated that guy.”
“Well, I definitely don’t hate him anymore,” I said. “I like him way too much. And it’s stupid, and I need to stop, but I can’t seem to erase him from my brain.”
“Hate to tell you, you’re never going to be able to do that,” Red said. “I spent years of my life away from Liam, and nothing could have ever made me forget him.”
I puffed out a sigh. “Yeah, but you two are insanely perfect for each other,” I said. “I was so damn jealous watching you two fall back in love. And not just because he’s one of the best gay porn stars I’ve ever seen. You’re a lucky man.”
“You’re not wrong,” Red said. “Listen, my point is this. I was so certain I shouldn’t be with Liam. I knew, logically, that it was a bad idea. But even after all those years apart, when he walked back into my life… there was no denying it. No matter how bad it looked on paper.”
“True,” I said. “And nothing looks worse on paper than being into my stepbrother.”
Red laughed. “Like I said, it is a little juicy. Spicy, if you will. But it’s definitely not the worst thing I could imagine. It’s kind of exciting, actually.”
Something stirred in me as Red said it.
It was exciting, if I was really being honest. I felt weird about admitting I liked Fox, but I also cherished it, in a way that I’d never felt before.
“So you don’t think I’m a nutcase?”
“Sam, you’ve always been a total nutcase.”
“Okay, yes, but no more than usual,” I said, a smile on my face.
“I don’t think you need to feel bad about it, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“When it was just sex, it was so easy to shrug it off as just fun,” I said. “But then the feels started to come in. Like they always do.”
“Always, always,” Red said.
“But it’s different with Fox,” I said. “Like he actually felt it back, unlike so many other guys I’ve been with.”
“Would you actually date him?” Red asked simply.
“God, yes,” I whispered. “Is that awful?”
“Only you can decide that,” Red said. “But my personal opinion? Do what you want. I don’t think it’s awful in any way.”
“I mean, it’s never going to happen,” I clarified. “Our lives don’t match up. It couldn’t work, for so many reasons.”