She laughed. “I bet.”
“Anyway.” I shrugged. “The whole time … like the eight months we’d all been traveling together, this one friend, Austin, had made it clear he wanted more with me. Not in a creepy or clingy way. Not then.” No, the fucker had totally blindsided me. “But he wasn’t my type. There was zero chemistry there.”
“So what happened?”
“Like I told you earlier, I regretted leaving you for months and felt stuck. Christmas came and went without you. Then it was New Year’s, and I was depressed as hell. I missed you, I missed Mom and Dad, and Boston in the winter … and I was lonely.” I reluctantly met her gaze. “I was lonely, I was drunk, and I was impulsive.”
“You slept with Austin,” she surmised, no judgment in her voice or expression.
I nodded, my pulse increasing as I remembered the following days. “The next morning he acted like we were together-together. At first, I didn’t know what to say because I felt so bad about it, and then when I told him it was just a one-night stand, it was like he couldn’t hear it. A few nights later …” My heart raced at the memories. “We were all out for the night at a party. I decided not to drink. Like my instincts were subconsciously warning me to keep my faculties intact. The party was at this apartment near where we were staying in District 3. Austin kept getting in my face, and I finally lost it and yelled at him to leave me alone.
“One of the other guys, Liam, had enough and told Austin to back off, or he’d make him back off. And Liam offered to walk me back to my room. Nothing happened. Liam was with Desi, one of the other girls, and was just being a good guy. He said Austin was a good guy, too, and he just had a crush, but he’d talk to him, and it would all be okay. However, I was barely in my room five minutes when Austin picked the lock and broke in.”
Fear glittered in Robyn’s eyes, and I hurried to assure her. “He didn’t hurt me. He just … wouldn’t let me out of the room. Kept trying to convince me we were meant to be together and how he’d kill himself if I didn’t feel the same.”
“Son of a bitch,” Robyn whispered.
“I knew it was manipulation. I was finally seeing who he really was.” Anger warred with the terror he’d awakened. “But I was so scared,” I admitted, “I didn’t know how he far he’d take it.”
“How far did he take it?”
“I was sharing a room with Desi’s best friend, Kylie. When she couldn’t get in, Liam showed up and demanded Austin open the door. Austin did and pretended like it was all good, like he hadn’t kept me trapped in there with him all night, refusing to let me out. Everyone tried to brush it off as harmless, so I packed my stuff and used what money I had left to get a ticket home. Except the cheapest flight I could get was to California. So I stayed there for a few months, working a couple of server jobs in San Diego. I was afraid to come home to you, like I said, but I felt stupid for sleeping with him. And … he had my email and was on all my social media accounts.”
“He harassed you?”
I nodded. “I blocked him on social media, but it was like a car crash. His emails kept coming in, and it was like I had to read them. I couldn’t look away. I think I didn’t delete my email for so long because I hoped that eventually, the emails would stop and I’d know he’d gotten bored. His emails were much of the same as what he’d said in that hotel room in Vietnam. But one day in April, I got an email that made me sick to my stomach.”
“What was in it?”
I stared unseeing at the takeout cartons. “It was sexual. He threatened to rape me.”
Robyn sucked in a breath, and I finally looked at her.
“That’s when I got angry. I decided enough was enough. I deleted my email account and packed up my stuff and called Dad to see if he could help me pay for a ticket to come home. Something I still owe him.” I sighed heavily, beyond irritated with myself.
“And when you got home, I wasn’t there.”
At the self-admonishing note in my sister’s voice, I glared at her. “Don’t do that. I’m the one who abandoned you, not the other way.”
“But I didn’t know you were going through this. That some asshole has been harassing you. Stalking you.”
I flinched at the word stalking considering what it meant to her. “Not stalking. Ish. Not like … not like Lucy. When I got back to Boston, my head was still up my ass and I got a job at a bar where I met Maddox. You know, the hot, dangerous type.” I looked away, not wanting to think about my stupidity with that guy. “He was an asshole, but he was a tough son of a bitch and I guess, moronically, I thought he would make me safe. Eventually, I pulled my head out of my ass, dumped him, got a job at a coffee place and a server gig at night. Anyway, I was gaining the courage to fix things between you and me.”