“Please,” Robyn huffed, “a person cannot help who they’re attracted to.”
“I wouldn’t call it attraction. It’s more like a desperate, savage need to be naked with him and have him do a lot of dirty things to me.”
“I have a gun,” she reminded me stonily.
I burst out laughing, pulling her in for a hug as she glowered. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll stop saying stuff like that.”
“Please, please do.”
Wiping tears of laughter from my eyes, I settled back on my stool and groaned through my amusement as reality returned. “What do I do, Robbie?”
She stared at me, her expression serious. “I don’t know what’s between you two, but I’ve never heard you moon over a man like this. Is it ideal? No. But neither were Lachlan and me. Neither are other people,” she said a little mysteriously. “And all you can do is sit by and watch them waste something special because they’re afraid it’s inappropriate.” She shrugged, her gaze focusing again. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m biased because I’d like you to stay, and because I think Thane is one of the good ones. I just … I don’t think you should run this time.”
I winced a little at the reminder. “I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t say it to be harsh. I trust you would never start something with Thane, knowing what this family has been through, if you planned to take off as soon as things got tough.”
“Never,” I promised. “I would never do that, Robyn. Not to the kids. Not to Thane. Not to you.”
“I know.” She nodded. “I believe you.”
Tears stung my eyes. I hadn’t realized how much I needed her to say that.
She squeezed my hand. “I told you I wouldn’t hold the last two years against you, and I won’t. We’ll never move on that way. I am proud of who you’ve become. I’m proud of how you handle Eilidh and Lewis and the love and friendship and support you give them. I’m proud of how seriously you take your job, and I don’t want you thinking that your feelings for Thane diminishes that. We can’t help who we want. And who knows how Thane feels about you? What I do know is that if it is just physical on his part, if he is holding back because he thinks it’s inappropriate, his mind can’t be changed if you leave.”
As her words sank in, hope blossomed in my chest. I bit my lip against a giddy smile.
Robyn saw it and shook her head at me. “Jesus, you’ve got it bad.”
“You can’t tell Lachlan. Or anyone. This stays between us.”
My sister took my words to heart. “I don’t like keeping secrets from him, but I don’t want him jumping to conclusions about this.”
“Thanks. And thank you … for trusting me. For trusting that this isn’t just a flavor-of-the-month kind of thing. I am happy here. I do feel things for him that I’ve never felt before.”
“I can tell.” She considered this and then said, “Does that mean you’ll apply for the visa?”
I laughed at her persistence, overjoyed by it, in fact. “That means I will definitely think about it.”
15
Regan
Arrochar’s house was a midcentury bungalow in a well-kept, well-designed residential area a few blocks from Castle Street. The first time she’d brought me to her house for coffee, I was surprised, expecting her to be living it up in a stylish, modern home like Lachlan and Thane.
I knew (didn’t everyone?) that the middle sibling, Brodan Adair, was a famous Hollywood actor. Not that I’d say this to Robyn, but I thought he was an even better actor than Lachlan. My soon-to-be brother-in-law was great at the action-hero stuff. He really sold it, and he’d been seriously fun to watch beating up bad guys. Brodan, while he’d started out in similar style movies, had branched into more serious roles. And the man could act. Also, he was probably the most classically handsome of the Adair brothers. Lots of people got Brodan Adair mixed up with the guy who played Captain America.
Between the celebrities in the family, Lachlan’s and Thane’s large, contemporary homes, and Ardnoch Castle itself, I kind of got wrapped up in the idea of the Adairs as lairds and lady of the manor.
Arro shot that vibe to hell. In a good way. She was a forest engineer and did not rely on her growing inheritance (thanks to Lachlan’s successful turnaround of their family estate) or their reputation as pillars of Ardnoch society. Low-key, funny, sharp, and kind, Arro was as down-to-earth as they came.
And she loved her family.
That was evident as I walked into her house holding Lewis’s hand while Thane carried Eilidh. The smell of food made my stomach twinge with hunger. A glance in the large dining room revealed a beautifully laid table for the birthday celebrations. We strolled into a living room filled with blue and silver streamers and balloons that made Eilidh antsy with excitement in her father’s arms.